[Groupermadness]

One of those good nights out

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of
the night.
Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy".
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on me way then".
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself
off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face."Shoite,Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
shimmies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside, takes a deep
breath of fresh air,
feels much better, and takes a step out onto the pavement.
He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm ' focked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, crawls to the door and
collapses inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says "No way". But with gritted
teeth he hauls himself up and stands at his bedroom door.
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again.
He says "That's it, I gotta stop drinking," and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup
of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was pissed. But how'd you know?"
"Mick called...... You left your wheelchair at the pub"