[Freediver81]

Brooklyn Tony
>>
>>The teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a
>>fence
>>and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls
>>
>>on Brooklyn Tony.
>>
>>
>> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first
>>gunshot."
>>
>>
>>The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>>thinking."
>>
>>
>> Then Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3
>>women
>>sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately
>>licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is
>>gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off
>>the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
>>
>>
>>The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
>>one
>>that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>>
>>
>>To which Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is 'the one
>>with
>>the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON MATH
>>
>>
>> Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in
>>arithmetic.
>>
>>
>> "Why?" asks the father.
>>
>>
>>teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies TONY.
>>
>>
>> "But that's right!" says his dad.
>>
>>
>>
>> "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
>>
>>
>> "What's the fucking difference ?" asks the father.
>>
>>
>>
>> "That's what I said!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON ENGLISH
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
>>going
>>to learn multi-syllable words, class.
>>
>>Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
>>
>>
>>TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
>>
>>
>>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Brooklyn Tony, that's a
>>mouthful."
>>
>>
>>Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he
>>needed
>>to go to the bathroom.
>>
>>He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"
>>
>>
>>
>>The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
>>in
>>this situation.
>>
>>The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the
>>word
>>'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you
>>to go."
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,
>>but
>>ifyou had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
>>
>>
>>One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
>>show of hands from those who could
>>
>>use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
>>
>>
>> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
>>bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>>
>>
>>"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
>>Michael.
>>
>>
>>"My mommy planned a beautiful ban quet and it turned out
>>beautifully."
>>
>>
>>She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
>>
>>
>>Then the teacher reluctantly called on Brooklyn Tony.
>>
>>
>> "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that
>>she was
>>pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
>>after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
>>said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
>>will
>>give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>>
>>
>>Brooklyn Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107
>>years
>>old."
>>
>>
>>The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
>>
>>
>> Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."