[island_sands]

5 Important lessons in life

Lesson no 1:

A man walks into the shower right as his wife leaves it - the doorbell rings. The wife wraps a towel around her and walks downstairs to open the door. She opens the door and outside is their neighbour Bob, before she gets to say anything Bob says "I'll give you $200 if you will take off the towel" For a moment she was thinking but decides to take it off so she stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds Bob gives her $200 and walks away. The wife put on the towel again and walks upstairs. When she enters the bathroom again her husband asks "Who was it?" "Bob" she answers "Perfect" says the husband "did he mention anything about the $200 he owes me?"

Morale: If you share important information about any out standings and risks with the shareholders, you might avoid unnecessary revelations.

Lesson 2:

A priest offers a lift to a nun. She gets in and crosses her legs so she is showing part of her thigh. The priest almost losses control of the car but after gaining control of the car he slowly let his hand slide up her thigh. "Father, remember hymn 129". The priest removes his hand but after shifting gear he let slide up her thighs again. "Remember hymn 129" says the nun again. The priest is apologizing "Sorry Sister, but the flesh is weak" When they reach the Monastery the nun walks away. When the priest arrives at the Church he hurries in and looks up hymn 129. It says "Move ahead and seek higher up - and you shall find heaven"

Morale: If you don't keep yourself well informed in your job, you might miss out on great opportunities.

Lesson 3:

Two system developers and a project manager is on their way too lunch when they discover an antic oil lamp. They rub on it and out come a genie. "I'll grant each of you a wish" the genie says. "Me first, me first" says one of the system developers. "I want to go to Bahamas, sail around in a speedboat and not have to think of any of the problems in life" - POOF and he was gone. "Me now, me now" said the other system developer. "I want to go to Hawaii - relax on the beach with my personal masseuse and an endless amount of Pina Coladas - and the love of my life" - POOF and he too was gone. "Okay, now it's you" the genie says to the project manager. "I want them both back in the office right after lunch" he says.

Morale: Always let the manager speak first.

Lesson 4:

A crow sits up in a tree and was doing nothing the whole day long. A rabbit comes by and ask "can I also sit like you and do nothing the whole day?" "Yea why not?" the crow answers. The rabbit sits on the ground below the crow to start relaxing. Suddenly a fox comes and eats the rabbit.

Morale: To sit and do nothing the whole day, you have to be pretty high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was talking to a bull. "I really wish I could get up there high up in the trees" the turkey sobbed "but I don't have the energy for it" "Why don't you eat some of my droppings" the bull answered "they are full of energy". The turkey eats a little of the bulls droppings and discovered he gains power enough to reach the lowest branch. The following day the turkey eats some more of the bull's droppings and reached the next branch. Finally after fourteen days the turkey was proud sitting up in the top of the tree. It wasn't long before it was discovered by the farmer and he immediately shot the turkey so it fell to the ground.

Morale: "Bullshit" might get you to the top but it's not going to keep you up there.