Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a
suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water
is quite cool... So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel
powered industrial 'water heater'; this $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose, which is taped to
the
air
hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take
the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods
my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to
itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized
what had happened. The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it
into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as
fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the
dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water,
the
medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and
told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my ass was swollen shut.
Love Rob
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!"
