[Freediver81]

Number One Idiot of 2006


I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured
her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.


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Number Two Idiot of 2006


Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.


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Number Three Idiot of 2006


A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes
later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.


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Number Four Idiot of 2006


A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days
later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Smartass... but you still get a sign


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Number Five Idiot of 2006


A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the
cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind
the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are
over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it
to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took
his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The
clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.


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Idiot Number Six of 2006


A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign


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Idiot Number Seven of 2006


Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)