[Freediver81]

Wife from hell!

> A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked
> you at 100 km per hour, sir."
>
> The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
> your radar gun needs calibrating."
>
> Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
> you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
>
> As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
> and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
>
> The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
> detector went off when it did."
>
> As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
> unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
> clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
>
> The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
> seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $135 fine."
>
> The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
> off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
> pocket."
>
> The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
> seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
>
> And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
> to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
>
> The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
> talk to you this way, Madam?"
>
> "Only when he's been drinking."