Re: Jokes Thread!!!
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A 17 year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for
two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a
pregnancy test.
Confirming her worst fears, the test result is positive. Shouting,
swearing, crying, the Mother says, "Who is the bastard that
did this to you? I want to Know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother, & the girl
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll
take charge. I will pay all costs & provide for your daughter for the
rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail
stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. He
continues:
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories & a $4,000,000
bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000
each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a
hand firmly on the man's shoulder and very decisively tells him,
"You can breed her again..."
__________________
"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible."
T.E.Lawrence
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain
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