Sounds like You´re using a strange kind of hybrid procedure for equalizing.
The Valsalva method means that You´re forcing air against a closed mouth in order to send air through the eustachian tubes to the inner ear. The pumping effect is accomplished with the chest and diaphragm muscles. Using this method some air may escape through your lips and it takes a real effort to do so. You would be wasting O2 just to equalize.
The Frenzel method means that You use the back of your thongue as a piston to elevate the air pressure and supply air to your inner ear. No rise of pressure should occur in the lip area of the mouth. The system only works if the nostrils are securely shut (by a noseclamp). IMHO the grunting noise is a sure sign of a failure in the procedure.
Use two fingers to clamp your nose shut and begin pumping air with the back of your thongue. You should feel the air being pumped to the nose. It´s not much, just a "spoonfull" every time, but at high pressure. Lungs and Chest don´t do a thing.
You can try this exercise werever You want (at office, for examle) but don´t try to equalize. You´re just trying to get your nose inflating and deflating slightly (pulsating) with every movement of the piston, even if the mouth is open.
It´s very easy, once you find out how to do it.
It´s kind of a continuos process when You´re diving, forget
about eq-stops every few meters.
Good Luck
