Hello Bill,
not wishing here to beat this to death nor spoil your Friday evening

but could you please fill in the gaps in the dummies version of your already dummy version:
1. Take five deep breaths but do it easy.
2. Hold for 1 minute.
3. 5 more breaths
(could you define a little theses breaths, like 10 sec in, hold 5, then out 20?)
4. Hold for 2 mins
5. 5 more breaths
6. Hold for 3 mins
7. Wiggle, squirm, scratch and stretch for a minute (
could you explain this bit???)
8.Get very comfortable and don't move a muscle, except to breathe, for seven minutes
(same breaths as above?)
9. Take five deep easy breaths with a little emphasis on the exhale
10. Inhale fully, belly, chest and shoulder lift.
11. Start breath hold. and relax. Think pleasant thoughts. Don't fight contractions, just relax again after each one
Q. would you not throw in two or three purges before the hold, followed by a couple more slow exhales?
All i need to do now is translate to Spanish for my buddies, print on waterproof paper and take to the pool..
Thanks