Seal Joke

[loopy]

Errr.... turn away if you may get offended

A penguin is driving around town when all of a sudden his car begins to spluter and die out. He drives into the nearest service station and tells the mechanic there about the hassles he's having. The machanic gives his car a quick once over, and says to him "This should take about half an hour - come back and pick it up then".
Penguins being the frigid creatures they are, he decided to grab himself an ice cream while he is waiting. He buys the biggest, creamiest vanilla ice cream money can buy, and lacking an opposable thumb, pushes his face into it to eat it. Ice cream goes everywhere - all over the floor, all over the counter, all over his face. He takes a quick look at his watch and realises he's late, so forgoing the clean up, he races back to the mechanic.
When he gets there, the mechanic looks him up and down, and says "Well, it's not pretty, but it looks like you've blown a seal."
To which the penguin replies "Nah mate, it's just ice cream."

[OceanSwimmer]

"Well, it's not pretty, but it looks like you've blown a seal."


Thanks, Loopy, I needed that! (wiping tears from my eyes)

[Pekka]

Good one loopy...
I say a good joke a day keeps me from getting depressed as I am not diving this week or perhaps for some weeks to come...

Good day to you!
Pekka

[Amphibious]

Jeez Brad.....

[Erik]

Erik Y.

[willsrn]

[Pekka]

A first grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!" Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal,

"Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree. Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry, after a moment "Legs." Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Harry: "Pockets." Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" Harry: "Coconut" Ms Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge. Harry: "Bubblegum" Ms Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Harry: "Shake hands". Ms Brooks: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?" Harry: "Yep". Ms Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do". Harry: "Tent" Ms Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first". The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Harry: "Wedding Ring" Ms Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good". Harry: "Nose" Ms Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver". Harry: "Arrow" Ms Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Harry to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"


Pekka