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| The Beach Bar Pull up a stool and starting chatting about the Underwater World. |
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#136
October 11th, 2005
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Quote:
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#139
October 12th, 2005
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7 dwarves in a bed...
they all felt sleepy... so sleepy gets out... ******************** not true, he was feeling bashful!  Last edited by jimdoe2you; October 12th, 2005 at 03:09.
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#140
October 12th, 2005
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Quote:
__________________
Bret Durrett Frankfurt am Main, Germany  "Diving - The closest thing to outer space - and it won't cost you $25 million!" (Gotta Love Inflation!)
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#141
October 12th, 2005
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Quote:
And a Texan's last words are usually "Hold my Beer!" And I always thought the 7 dwarves were Spacey Stuffy Crazy Pudgy Snooty Batty and Male Registered Nurse
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Sinkweight
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#142
October 12th, 2005
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don't get upset Bret Durrett! Your one was good too!
 That joke can work in a heinz-like variety of ways, and would probably only get funnier were you to tell them to someone one version after another.
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#143
October 12th, 2005
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ps. Jimdoe, I reckon my version packs more punch ;-)
besides, i think you'll find you've made a grammatical faux-pas there yourself- it should go "felt more sleepy, so sleepy got out", if you see what i'm saying... Stick to your tenses man! yours pedantically, turtle
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#144
October 12th, 2005
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Quote:
 I never get upset  Nope, the Red Card was just my way of saying that I am not gonna go down this road any farther, nope, not me.... nuh-uh...no way ... not a chance
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Bret Durrett Frankfurt am Main, Germany "Diving - The closest thing to outer space - and it won't cost you $25 million!" (Gotta Love Inflation!) Last edited by bdurrett; October 13th, 2005 at 09:54. Reason: Failed to properly set a smilie
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Re: Jokes Thread!!!!
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#145
October 12th, 2005
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..............The seven dwarfs are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and Dopey gets to meet the Pope privately. Dopey, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the pontiff questions about the church, and in particular, nuns.
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" "No, my son, all our nuns are at least 5 feet tall." "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?" "I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?" "No reason." Dopey pauses. "Positive? Nobody wearing black and white that's about two or three feet tall?" "I'm sure." "Okay." Dopey appeared dejected and upset at this news, and the Pope wonders why. So he listened to the dwarfs as they leave the building. "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarfs. Dopey says, "All of you were right, he said there aren't any." The other six dwarfs laugh and start chanting: "Dopey screwed a penguin! Dopey screwed a penguin! Dopey screwed a penguin!"…  Last edited by jimdoe2you; October 13th, 2005 at 02:25.
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#146
October 12th, 2005
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#147
October 13th, 2005
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Ok, .......one more!
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Samdive led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Alison was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Ali," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little sinkweight's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little sinkweight walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!", cried the teacher. "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little sinkweight "Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little sinkweight, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, "Gross, this tastes like old kitty litter!" Then I would say: ... .... ..... "It is old kitty litter! .........Wanna buy a toothbrush?" Last edited by jimdoe2you; October 13th, 2005 at 17:00.
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#148
October 13th, 2005
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Ah, yes. Sales approach #38.
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Sinkweight
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#149
October 13th, 2005
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Oh
My God! rof Too bad I can't karma you ..... You deserve it for that one
__________________
Bret Durrett Frankfurt am Main, Germany "Diving - The closest thing to outer space - and it won't cost you $25 million!" (Gotta Love Inflation!)
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#150
October 13th, 2005
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I've got a horrible one. I'll try not to be too suggestive, either. But, here goes...
There's a bartender and he's closing up for the night, but forgets to lock the door before he opens the cash register and sets it on the counter to count the days income. Suddenly, a masked man bursts into the bar with a handgun held straight out in front of him. "Put all the money in the trashbag!", the robber yells with a gun at the bartender's face, throwing a plastic trashbag into the bartender's hands. "Alright! Alright! Look, you can have the money. Just don't do anything we both might regret later, ok?" The robber gets ticked off by the bartender's calm, collected confidence and, with his free hand, unbuckles his own belt and drops his trousers. "What are you doing!" the confused bartender asks. "Alright 'Mr. Lets-not-do-anything-we'll-regret'...why don't we put this gun to the test. I'd like a little 'lip service' if you please", the robber says as he cocks the gun. "Aww. C'mon. You've already got the money. Why don't you just lea...", the bartender reasons. "On your knees!", he interrupts. Well, to save his own life, the bartender does the robber's bidding. Halfway through, the robber gets a bit relaxed. First his neck, then his shoulders, and pretty soon the gun swings away from the bartender's head and back to the robber's side. The perfect chance to grab the gun. The bartender takes the chance and grabs the gun... ...but puts it back to his head. Shocked to have been caught of guard, the robber asks, "Why the hell did you put my gun back to your head?!" The bartender stops what he's doing and says "You know, if someone else were to barge in...." I'll probably be getting some flak for that one.
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Sinkweight
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