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  #31  
Old July 3rd, 2002
DancinLikeNo1isWatching
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Los Gatos, California
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Advertisements:

Thank You Sven!

Voit Speargun: $40.00

Old Dive Watch: $15.00

Blue Satin Bra: $55.00

Matching Panties (not shown): $45.00

Reading the replies to this post: Priceless. (Lynn gets my vote as the funniest so far. Brief, witty and hilarious!!)



My Feeble Attempt...
(use an over-enunciated announcer voice to read the following)

"Introducing the new OCTO Boobie-Blue. Perfect for those hot days when a wet t-shirt just isn't cold enough. Equipped with custom lace, monofilament underwires and our specialized form-fitting cold gel packs will give you elegence, support and comfort you can Only experience with our exclusive products! Perfect for training to cold water dive and spearfish! Wait,there's more...Boobie-Blue also doubles as an expandable cooler! Perfect for chilling three rockfish, two abalone, or one Lingcod! Also an economical and affordable solution to expensive breast reduction surgery. Do not confuse this product with ANY of the other cheap imitations. We hold exclusive patents on the 'Octo Conform' cold packs."

"Buy Now and receive the matching g-string...for Him-Free! Yes, for that special man in your life it's Got To be the OCTO Teste-Blue! Guaranteed to get ANY man prepared to dive North Or South of Latitude 38...AND for those guys who have trouble fitting into small wetsuits: Five minutes with this amazing product and your troubles will be over!! Guaranteed to shrivel anything to the size and feel of three frozen peas in just seconds to help you slip into even the tightest farmer-johns with ease! Teste-Blue ALSO doubles as a cooler and can be used to keep scallops and limpets fresh for days!"

(the following to be spoken in a low, words-run-together disclaimer voice)

"Boobie-Blue and Teste Blue is a registered trademark of Octo Unlimited. No guarantees, exchanges or refunds...ever. Side affects are the same as experienced by those using placebo products and include: shortness of breath, bulging eyes, extended durations of testicular retraction, excrutiatingly constricted areola, and mild to severe frostbite and/or hypothermia. In extreme cases, some permanant retraction of testes and nipples has occurred. Prior to using our products, we strongly recommend you consult your doctor...or somebody...or anybody!"
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Last edited by Octo; July 3rd, 2002 at 04:09.
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  #32  
Old July 3rd, 2002
icarus pacific's Avatar
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icarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputation
Re: Advertisements:

[quote]Originally posted by Octo
(Lynn gets my vote as the funniest so far. Breif, witty and hilarious!!)
QUOTE]

(To be read in a deep, barritone "God-speaking-from the-clouds" tone

Aaron, just come , uh, er, flat out and ask for her number !

sven
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"Wherever you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai
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  #33  
Old July 3rd, 2002
DancinLikeNo1isWatching
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Los Gatos, California
Posts: 129
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Lynn was the funniest to me, and besides, I got little time to date, only time to flirt...you little glootimus mixemup boy you! I will send you a free Teste-Blue to clear up that noisy flopping floffie problem...

Hugs and Kisses,
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  #34  
Old July 3rd, 2002
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Not The "Little" Mermaid any more
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  #35  
Old July 3rd, 2002
icarus pacific's Avatar
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Join Date: Nov 2001
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icarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputationicarus pacific has a band of butler monkeys to carry around that reputation
czech it out!

Nowthat is funny, Vodouch!

sven
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"Wherever you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai
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  #36  
Old July 4th, 2002
DancinLikeNo1isWatching
 
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Following the light at the top of an ocean cave, Sven joyfully surfaces in a warm pool with a gorgeous near-miss...
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  #37  
Old July 5th, 2002
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Jon Jon is offline
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Jon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyondJon moved beyond

"And some days the sea DOES want you!"

Jon
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  #38  
Old July 5th, 2002
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Caption Contest

"Sven realized that there was still alot of work to do on his custom underslung dual catapault gun"
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  #39  
Old July 6th, 2002
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Wilmington, NC USA
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Jay Styron will become famous soon enoughJay Styron will become famous soon enoughJay Styron will become famous soon enoughJay Styron will become famous soon enoughJay Styron will become famous soon enoughJay Styron will become famous soon enough
THE LEDGEND

As the light of day fades and the Sven tribe gathers around the campfire; the story of, "the one that got away" will doubtlessly be passed down from father to son for generations to come. And as the old man gazes into the fire, his eyes become misty with the knowledge of just how close he had been to "collecting" one of natures most majestic and wary creatures. Something very few men and no boys would be capable of.......
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  #40  
Old July 6th, 2002
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Bill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputationBill no shame in showing off that warm and fuzzy reputation

SVELTE SVEN SURVIVES (barely) another encounter with a 'real' woman.

Aloha
Bill

P,S. That's from a one who had to look up the spelling of alliteration.
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  #41  
Old July 8th, 2002
Phat not fat!
 
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That ear block really did effect Sven’s hearing when he decided to take the advice of finding a better breast holding technique…..
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  #42  
Old July 8th, 2002
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Managing Editor
 
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Ok this image may be puzzling for many of you - but for us sun bronzed Aussie divers the answer is quite a simple matter of Fish Identification for tropical Pacific affeciandos
In the cooler more temperate zones - there is a well know fish called the "Southern Blue Wrasse"
Now the interesting point of this species is that in the event of a lack of females in the area - males can change sex and become female
Now the common name for this fish is the : "Grooper"
What is obvious from the picture is that a large cross dressing male Wrasse aka Grooper has been caught in the middle of cross dressing whilst changing sex -
Hence the title must be -
Whilst the Brits have Blue Tits - the Aussies have two better
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  #43  
Old July 8th, 2002
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My captions and hello! (new feller)

"Bottoms up, or top from the bottom?"
or
"Spearos version of the mile-high club!"
or
"Dangit, and I was gonna do a full-body mount on this one"
(taxidermy don't ya know!)
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  #44  
Old July 8th, 2002
Moana Kane (Waterman)
 
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Caption Contest

Got Milk?

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Step 1: Firmly pull rubber all the way to base of shaft

Step 2: Always keep fingers, hands, or appendages away until absolutely needed. There's nothing worse, or more embarassing,than having your spear go off too early.

Step 3: Always ensure you have your gun pointed in the proper direction.

Step 4: Ensure nothing will restrict your floats when your spear is released

Step 5: Diving solo can be fun at times, but there's nothing better than going deep with a partner.

_____________________

Whoever says size doesn't matter is obviously happy shooting smaller targets.

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Wish I could see those around my reefs.

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Associated Press- United States- Spearfishing enthusiasts the world over were extrememly pleased today when the confines of a new protected species were released today. Spearos were heard saying how great it was to see "these swimming unhindered."

In addition, scientists in the various location where these were released have been unable to explain the cause of mirky water and diminished visibilty.
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  #45  
Old July 8th, 2002
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Location: belgium
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tanks

thanks for the training tip

"reach for the top, improve your bottom times"

bruno
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