2004's First Caption Contest

[icarus pacific]

Originally posted by Rolando
Hey Sven, Where's my Shirt from last month?

I think these shirts are made one at a time and then sent by kayak... the prizes generally take 4-6 weeks, don't ask me why, I've tried, but I don't sign the checks. Hang out, its worth the wait.

[flyboy748]

I don't have a comment on the new fins Sven, but according to a recent poll* the California abalone like them alot better than the ones you've been using!

Aaron

*editors note: abalone polled were all deeper than 25 feet.

[tylerz]

Eric Fattah explained to Sven several times that his body acidity was too high! Sven determined as he was, decided to go ahead and urinate without removing his black carbon fibre fins! Take note of the fin's surface saturation (color) and structural damage (holes/size) that occured due to this catastrophe!

[tylerz]

Looking down at his feet, 23 years later in his journey searching for truth, Sven exclaimed, "I have finally unravelled the true meaning of my master's teachings..."

"What fins?"

[tylerz]

Variant on the previous post:

Looking down at his feet, 23 years later in his journey searching for truth, Sven exclaimed, "I have finally unravelled the true meaning of my master's teachings..."

"What fins?"

Conveying his discovery to the master, Sven volunteers, "because from a certain angle, all you see is a bony chicken-like leg... albeit extra furry!"

The master forsakes teaching from that day forward.

[efattah]

"New OMER ultrastretch fins: $999. Small enough to fit in some shirt pockets. Stretchy enough that one size fits all.

WARNING: Fins have rather small surface area, and the ultraflexible material offers little thrust against the water. Not recommended for use in high currents, deep dives, or by divers weighing over 40lbs/18kg. No warranty expressed or implied. Waiver of liability must be signed prior to purchase. Special license may be required in some areas. Biodegradable in highly polluted areas. Do not inhale fin material vapours; do not allow fin material to contact open wounds or mouth. Do not leave in direct sunlight or submerge in saltwater. Do not submerge in fresh water for more than 20 minutes. Fin material stiffens with time; ultrastretch property may last up to several weeks from purchase. Once ultrastretch property has diminished, fin may no longer fit; should this occur, purchase of new ultrastretch fins is strongly recommended."


Eric Fattah
BC, Canada

[bdurrett]

Overheard as Sven was yelling at Mrs. Sven:

"How many times do I have to tell you?!?! NEVER wash my fins in hot water and NEVER put them in the dryer! See? Now look at what you've done! I can give these to the baby and I will have to get a new pair! You know how much those things cost?!?!" <stomping off and slamming the door>

[Griff]

Sales Pitch:

Dont worry, everything's bigger underwater!

[barry the poet]

Of course, the day of the dive shop is short-lived, now that you can buy all your dive gear over the internet with confidence.....

[Jon]

Sven's Girlfriend:
" Well Sven, I guess you've just blown the 'large feet, large ----' myth."



Jon

[bdurrett]

The brand new comedy starring Sven, Mrs. Sven, and the mini-Sven's titled:


"Honey, I Shrunk The Fins!"

[shaneshac]

This is clearly an edited Scene from Tom Hanks Movie "BIG"

Just imagine how his small speedos looked

[LioKai]

(in the voice of Jeff Foxworthy)

"If you've ever gottin' so drunk that you've willingly photographed yourself wearin' nothin' but your children's swim fins;
you might be a redneck"

[tylerz]

His look of dismay was startling as the hunters informed him that ducks were not so easily to be confused.

[LioKai]

"Hey honey! Come check out my prize for winning the 'Best Caption' contest!!!"