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#16
November 20th, 2004
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"Son, there are some things you need to know about our topside neighbors.
First, despite their fancy equipment they have no lateral lines, so they are pretty blind, not to mention slow and clumsy in the water. Just in case never swim in front of them. There are several types. The ones that blow bubbles all the time are pretty harmless, but sometimes if you get too close they explode in light, we figure it's some type of defense mechanism, some sort of bioluminescence. You can't see for a while afterwards but it doesn't last long. Then there are the "fishtails" They don't expell bubbles and are faster. They seem to be pretty friendly as they like to come up close and watch you. The also react with bioluminescence sometimes but are generally harmless. There are unfounded reports of fishtails even helping us out every so often, but I think it's just an urban legend, it's never happened to me. The worst are like the one right here, don't worry, if you keep to the side he won't see you. These don't blow bubbles, have split tails and one of their arms is longer than the other. We call these "jellymen" because if you swim in front of them they can sting you badly. Sometimes it can be even mortal." "Dad?" "Yes?" "I've noticed that they change color from black in the winter to pasty white in summer, do they molt?" "I'm not sure but we think so, there's a lot of stuff we don't know about them. All in all they are pretty wierd creatures!" Adrian Last edited by Adrian; November 20th, 2004 at 14:18. 
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#17
November 23rd, 2004
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<Golf Announcer whisper>
"The human is carefully lining up his shot, studies the current , the drift, and the forward motion of the intended target. He is taking his time about it, making sure that this, the final shot on this par 5, takes out the intended target." "Oh my goodness! Out of nowhere, a cloud of flourescent green marker dye has appeared, spoiling the humans chance for dinner this evening! I don't know about you, Ocean, but that must just make the human sick, wouldn't it?" "Well folks, the human can't hold his breath any longer so that's it for today. Join us again next week on "Shooting Fish In A Barrel." I am your host, Carl Bass with my partner and co-announcer, Ocean Perch, saying so long for now and, remember, it isn't the size of your lungs that counts, it's how long you can hold 'em!"
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Bret Durrett Frankfurt am Main, Germany  "Diving - The closest thing to outer space - and it won't cost you $25 million!" (Gotta Love Inflation!)
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Re: The REAL November Caption Contest!!
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#18
November 23rd, 2004
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coming soon to a theatre near you...
SUPER TED & BASS BOY Partners in slime!
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#20
November 26th, 2004
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Ted had the instinctive ability to always know when a fish was nearby. In this pea soup though, he knew for sure there was nothing around for miles...
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"Gaze long into the abyss, and the abyss gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche Beyond Good and Evil, Aphorism 146
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#21
November 30th, 2004
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Frightenend by the wrath of Sven (for bailing out of the abgrab at the last minute), Ted decides to patch up his differences with the fishes, and live out his remaining years in Lake Mendota.
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There is no Dana, only Zuul.
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#22
November 30th, 2004
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After loosing many a fish into the murk, Ted finally trained up his own "Largemouth Retriever" to do the job for him.
Jon
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Imagination is intelligence with an erection. - Victor Hugo
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#23
November 30th, 2004
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After his "Hey kids! - eat lime jelly and find a free spearfishing doll with real fish " campaign Bobs Advertising career at Rowntrees was well and truly over....
the true to life miniature speargun had been omitted from the advertising, just to make a bad job worse...
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#25
December 9th, 2004
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Icarus Icarus, wherefore art thou?
Adrian
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#26
December 9th, 2004
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The waters off of San Onofre were a pleasantly warm place to observe the wonders of nature. Bill was wondering why more divers had not been seen in the area that day when HE suddenly approached: GUS, THE 40-FOOT MUTANT GRUNION!
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#27
December 14th, 2004
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ok, ok...I declare myself the winner! Stephen, go ahead and ship my prize and we'll just tell Sven later
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"Do or do not...there is no try." - Yoda
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#28
December 14th, 2004
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Alt Saint is the winner with his evaluation of Ted's true spearo abilities. A very close second was nabbed by bdurrett with all three of his(?) entries, particularly the golf announcer. Naiad had third locked up and deep thought brought up the remainder of the contestants. Please see the December Contest for the latest on the whereabouts of my Dad.
Eric
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sven Sultan of Smooth "Wherever you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Banzai
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