Not quite a Job

[foxfish]

I thought this advert might interest some of you out there.

[jimqpublic]

Dr. Love of University of California at Santa Barbara has some advice to potential marine biologists:

http://www.lovelab.id.ucsb.edu/biologist.html
http://www.lovelab.id.ucsb.edu/revenge.html

Main site with lots of good stuff:
http://www.lovelab.id.ucsb.edu

I'm in because I love talking to dolphins, red wine, and money!

Jim

[Amphibious]

Reason Number Two: "I want to be a marine biologist because I really like Jacques Cousteau."
That’s nice. We really like Jacques Cousteau, too. But, drinking thousands of gallons of red wine while scuba diving around the world does not make you a marine biologist. It makes you a wonderful and effective spokesperson for the sea, and gives you a liver with the consistency of a chocolate necco wafer, but it does not make you a marine biologist.

Love it!

[Oldsarge]

And the best part is that you can drink thousands of gallons of red wine without all the academic hassle required to become a marine biologist and have the best of both worlds! I have an advanced degree in non-marine unbiology and I can drink all the beer and wine I want.

[jimqpublic]

After discovering the UCSB website referenced above I send Dr. Love an email:

Dr. Love:

A short summary of the long drawn out dissertation that's rattling around in my head in response to the whole "marine biologist" question from http://www.lovelab.id.ucsb.edu/
Bad Reason Number One: "I want to be a marine biologist so that I can talk to dolphins."
You're all wrong there. Nobody ever said I need to be validated by the dolphins. I talk to my wife and kids too and they just ignore me or walk away shaking their heads. Might as well be rejected by dolphins too.
Bad Reason Number Two: "I want to be a marine biologist because I really like Jacques Cousteau."
What if Jacques and his charming accent, the boat, and that great music has been fermenting in the back of my head for thirty years and now, NOW! I'm suddenly passionate about the sea. Would you want to be a marine biologist if you hated water? Plus "drinking thousands of gallons of red wine while scuba diving around the world does not make you a marine biologist. It makes you a wonderful and effective spokesperson for the sea,..." Actually that's what I want to do. He probably got female attention too.
Bad Reason Number Three: "I want to be a marine biologist because I want to make big bucks."
HaHAHAhaha! You know, as I was entering that phase of life referred to as "late teenage years shiftlessness", (College student) there was way too little discussion of whether certain courses of study and careers would lead to a comfortable income- with the exception of the evil business, law, and medical students.
Good Reason Number One: "You can dress and act almost any way you want."
Good point. The late shift manager at McD's has to wear a silly uniform. He does get paid more than a marine biologist of course.
Good Reason Number Two: "If you like it, just do it."
I believe that was the same rationale that fellow who kept human body parts in the fridge used.
Revenge:
I would take a writing class because scientists are often poor at writing.
Ha! You should spend some time with engineers if you want to see poor writing. They'll spend years putting together a 700 page set of construction plans for a new bridge or sewer but ask them to write one simple sentance and you're out of luck.
If there is a university or college near you, sometimes it is possible to volunteer to assist researchers
So true. Sucking up is such a great skill. My young cousin was recently lamenting the lack of summer opportunities as a college student. Now he's a graduate with weak prospects. His mistake? #1 of course is he was majoring in history. #2 is he didn't spend his free time sucking up to those who could put in a good word.
Question: What if, after 1 or 2 or, Gaia forbid, 3 years in college, I decide that I don't want to be a marine biologist. In fact, what if I decide that I don't want to be a biologist at all? In fact, what if I decide I want to live in a small town in South Dakota and make lovingly crafted reproductions of Gustav Stickley's rocking chair #397
That's me. In 1987, after 3 years studying… not marine biology rather "environmental resources engineering" or some sort of nonsense- I decided that my summer job as a land surveyor was so much fun that I never went back. In fact I think I owe a lab fee to Humboldt State. We found a very nice chair similar to #397 made by one of Stickley's contemporaries in an antique shop so that "life list" item is taken care of.
Back to the first part- I've learned that the best way to enjoy something (the ocean, ice cream, red wine, etc.) is to work a regular job that has a good amount of vacation time and do it in your free time.

That's why I work for a Gov't agency.

Okay, enough. Your site is hilarious. Informative too. Let's keep the platform structures so the sea critters have something to hang out on. Have you considered getting all the used tires from So-Cal dumped into the ocean as massive reef complexes?

Jim
Long Beach