I'm kind of along the same lines as brasher, to a certain extent...I mean, why didn't they answer more questions that I had in mind?
Take for instance:
How much of a push-off does one get from the wall?
What works better? a monofin or bifins?
How comparitively slowly would a weight sled work?
What kind of splash does it make when you cannonball from the high dive?
How much force would one need to clear one's snorkel
Should one fill fluid goggles with syrup to see correctly?
Does one get "confectioner's ear" if not careful?
Is a syrup swimmer faster in a pair of sweedo's?
Instead of pruning, does one's skin sugarplum instead?
In the event that one had to "cut the cheese" (so to speak), would one have ample amount of time to swim away from the incriminating area before the bubbles surfaced?
A. Why did Brian Gettelfinger swim in the syrup after Mr. Wonka explicitly warned him and the rest of the tour not to?
B. Do you think Gettlefinger was tempted with Slugworth's bounty for his Everlasting Gobstopper anyway?
C. If all those Oompa Loompas were supposedly certified in Lifeguarding, how come they all goosestepped around the pool with that judgmental song they always elude to, while Gettlefinger was being sucked into the drain?
"Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadee dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get when your teacher smokes pot
He spends your tuition proving diddley squat
All to disprove Sir Newton's surmise
Maybe he'll get the No..bel.......prize
This guy must have tenure
Oompa Loompa Doompadee da
I'd like to shatter Cussler's jaw
You don't have to clean up this goo
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompady do"