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Computers and blonde conspiracists

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island_sands

island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
Supporter
Jan 19, 2001
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I have often been accused of being the island's biggest conspiracist. Everyone is spying on me, intercepting my emails, listening to my phone conversations, looking through my papers on my desk, etc etc.

However, the fact that someone is "listening" to me, via my computer, has been worrying me for months. Somebody has been hacking into my computer.

I kept hearing this scratching noise, like someone on the other end of a phone line. I thought one point it might be through Skype, and I may not have disconnected, but I have deleted that programme from my laptop a couple of months back. What the hell is it, who is doing it?

You all may be laughing, or think I am just a nutter. :mad:

However, I discovered who the "mystery scratcher" is today.

I use Windows XP. It's that dam dog that appears everytime I search for a drawing in Explorer window.

*face of extreme embarrassment*


:girlie :eek: :eek:
 
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island_sands said:
However, I discovered who the "mystery scratcher" is today.

I use Windows XP. It's that dam dog that appears everytime I search for a drawing in Explorer window.

*face of extreme embarrassment*


:girlie :eek: :eek:
Click to expand...

rofl rofl rofl rofl

Now, speaking of nearly peeing one's self from laughing!!!

Like they say,

"Keep Windows up to date and safe.... Use LINUX!" :hmm
 
rofl rofl rofl

Thinking of computing embarrassment...

Recently I was using my computer and I had just gone online and opened Google, when something went wrong. The mouse pointer started flickering and lots of identical Google windows started appearing in the taskbar at the bottom of the screen. What could be happening? Had the computer got a virus? Had I done something wrong? I sat there, mouth gaping open, staring at it.

It took me a while to realise that I was resting my hand on the Enter key.

Lucia
 
lol! HAHAHAHA... jeez how embarrassing... I blush at my own "stupidity", do you?

A few years back some sick dude posted a link on a diving forum which was titled something to do with diving in Polynesia. I clicked on it and thousands and 1000s windows of websites with nude transvestites opened and opened and opened... i couldn't click them all closed fast enough so just hit the "off" button on my computer, as red as a beetroot and peered around to see who saw....

luckily no-one.. how would i ever explain myself?
 
Hold ALT and press F4

This closes your frontmost window and is awesome when this happens

Take it from someone with experience in this matter rofl rofl rofl
 
Nuthin' worse than 1,000 nude transvestite dogs scratchin' at yer windows!!
 
shaneshac said:
Hold ALT and press F4

This closes your frontmost window and is awesome when this happens

Take it from someone with experience in this matter rofl rofl rofl
Click to expand...

no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

you're asking the most suspicious person in the world to do that... not an f'ing chance.

i might get 1000 tranny dogs doing something else at my window!

rofl rofl rofl
 
island_sands said:
no wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

you're asking the most suspicious person in the world to do that... not an f'ing chance.

i might get 1000 tranny dogs doing something else at my window!

rofl rofl rofl
Click to expand...


No, babe, really! It works. Trust Uncle Walty on this one.
 
shaneshac said:
Take it from someone with experience in this matter rofl rofl rofl
Click to expand...
No way! :mute you surf for naked transvestites????? Shame on you!! rofl

Something that has happened to me quite frequentley, is I start typing something and all that apears is jibberish (yeah yeah :p ) sort of like this: "he336 36ver!" so Ive spent ages playing around in the control panel searching though keyboard settings, Ive tried that system restore thing, in the end the only way I got it fixed was by backing up every thing and using the XP cd to re install windows, which fixed it every time. Naturally I thought it was a virus but no! It turns out to be the "Num Lk" button has been pressed! :duh :duh :vangry LOL I swore I'd never tell anyone about that :D
Can someone tell me what that button is for?
 
Yo Alison
http://www.bytegems.com/help/ihatethiskey/source/howtouselocks.htm

Or a vague def :
" A key found on the numeric keypad of a computer keyboard that switches functions between numeric mode and cursor mode. "

Turn it off and you won't be able to use the keys on the number pad on the right of your computer - the "insert" key is another fine key to knock while writing stuff....

So have you got your wooden gun yet Alison ?

Use the Firefox browser if you don't like popups. In fact just use it fullstop - much better than IE... (http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/ : free download in green box top right).
Another tip : use Thunderbird for mail - really nice : (http://www.mozilla.org/products/thunderbird/)

Anyway - enough geekism !
Ed
(Currently the wind is blowing my roof nearly off - think it is a force 7 or 8... no diving today :()
 
Ah! That explains it Thought it might be something like that ;)
We've been using Firefox for months now, its much better than ie I started a thread about it a while back
Bought myself a mid handled Riffe in Dubai at the begining of December somehow I doubt if I'll ever use it, we lost the rest of our gear as well, at the moment I have no plans to replace it
 
Hats off if your using firefox! If ya try the thunderbird you may find it better as well then outlook etc... They are both much safer as well <in comparison to the MS stuff>
 
been using Mozilla for 3 days now.. very happy with it. i was told that you don't get so many virus downloads through mozilla.

ps: after running the Adware... had 139 nasty items! all deleted now!
 
Alison said:
No way! :mute you surf for naked transvestites????? Shame on you!! rofl

Something that has happened to me quite frequentley, is I start typing something and all that apears is jibberish (yeah yeah :p ) sort of like this: "he336 36ver!" so Ive spent ages playing around in the control panel searching though keyboard settings, Ive tried that system restore thing, in the end the only way I got it fixed was by backing up every thing and using the XP cd to re install windows, which fixed it every time. Naturally I thought it was a virus but no! It turns out to be the "Num Lk" button has been pressed! :duh :duh :vangry LOL I swore I'd never tell anyone about that :D
Can someone tell me what that button is for?
Click to expand...


Without knowing ANYTHING more than reading this note, I now know that you are working on a laptop ;) The "Numb-Lock" key on a laptop is a naughty little annoyance designed by the same rocket scientist that brought you panty-hose, child-proof asprin bottles, and set up the method to program a VCR. If you look on the keys around the "RTY FGH VBN" area (rows 1, 2, and 3 on an Engilsh QWERTY keyboard), you will probably see a "789 456 123" in blue or some other color. Since a normal laptop doesn't have the normal number pad, some brain child came up with the idea to use the normal keys as one when the Numb Lock is turned on.....

(Been there, Done that... and yes, I AM a rocket scientist - I work for ESA) :duh

If you are using XP, go to "Accessibility Options" in the Control Panel and turn on the "Toggle Keys" option under the "Keyboard" tab and the "Notifications" under the "General" Tab. That way your PC will alert you when you hit the Num, Caps, or Scroll lock keys.....

Bret
 
bdurrett said:
a naughty little annoyance designed by the same rocket scientist that brought you panty-hose, child-proof asprin bottles.

(Been there, Done that... and yes, I AM a rocket scientist - I work for ESA) :duh

If you are using XP, go to "Accessibility Options" in the Control Panel and turn on the "Toggle Keys" option under the "Keyboard" tab and the "Notifications" under the "General" Tab. That way your PC will alert you when you hit the Num, Caps, or Scroll lock keys.....

Bret
Click to expand...
Ah so it was you?? Ive often wondered
Thanks Bret :) Thats handy Im always getting that caps lock thing, it drives me nuts :(
 
Alison said:
Ah so it was you?? Ive often wondered
Thanks Bret :) Thats handy Im always getting that caps lock thing, it drives me nuts :(
Click to expand...

A "rocket scientist" I may be :rofl but a sadistic, psychopathic developer of torture devices I am not. I have often resorted to the Exacto-knife method of opening a bottle of Advil or Tylenol with a hangover myself. Bottle openers (like you use for beer bottles) work too. After all, neccesity is the mother of desperation!


And, while I can program a computer to play back stuff that looks like spacecraft telemetry, I STILL can't set the stupid clock on my stove :vangry

Glad to read that you are on the mend!

Bret
 
bdurrett said:
And, while I can program a computer to play back stuff that looks like spacecraft telemetry, I STILL can't set the stupid clock on my stove :vangry

Glad to read that you are on the mend!

Bret
Click to expand...


rofl rofl rofl

my Dad is metallurgist and extremely intelligent, really good mechanic as well.. works out formulas for all kinds of metal mixes etc... years ago our oven didn't work for ages when we moved into our new house, he took it apart virtually... couldn't fix it.. and the dealer came to over have a look and simply turned the clock hand to show the "hand" sign.... switching off the timer to manual....

ooh my swearing vocabulary improved that day. rofl rofl rofl
 
island_sands said:
my Dad is metallurgist and extremely intelligent, really good mechanic as well.. works out formulas for all kinds of metal mixes etc... years ago our oven didn't work for ages when we moved into our new house, he took it apart virtually... couldn't fix it.. and the dealer came to over have a look and simply turned the clock hand to show the "hand" sign.... switching off the timer to manual....

ooh my swearing vocabulary improved that day. rofl rofl rofl
Click to expand...

rofl rofl rofl my mother experienced the same problem with hers but fortunately the neighbour had been through a similar experience
 
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