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DIR in Life!

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
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Working Class Spearo
Mar 17, 2002

"I converted to DIR about six months ago and I have found
that the philosophy extends way beyond diving. I think most people tend to view DIR as a gear configuration or diving objective type of thing but it really is a philosophy that you can use in other parts of your life. For instance, below are just some of the ways I've extended the DIR way of doing things into other areas of my life.

Last week some of my buddies came over to my house. Now, not all of them are divers, but they do understand the DIR philosopy. So, first off, we all drink the same beer. This avoids any situations where you might be enjoying a lager and accidentlly pick up an ale(or the other way around). That can be very uncool. That could quickly lead to a panic situation so we avoid it all together. We also drink only from cans, no bottles. And we never put the beer in the refrigerator. It always goes in the ice chest in my living room. 47% of Drinking Related Incidents(DRI) occur when someone is going to the fridge for another beer so better safe than sorry. Of course, this is all rigged up while we're still 100% sober so there's no impaired judgement once
things get cooking.

All of us wear a bungee necklace with a full beer on it just in case
someone experiences an Out Of Beer(OOB) emergency. I can offer my already opened beer to my buddy and simply reach down and grab the backup off my beer necklace. And, without exception, we always use the 7-foot hose on the beer bong.

Of course, we don't stay in every night so we do decide to go out we make sure we're still DIR. All of us wear exactly the same clothing:
Levi's 501 Jeans(button hole, straight leg)
Gap Black T-shirt
Haynes boxer shorts, black
Gold Toe socks, black
Kenneth Cole shoes, Brad Bitt style
G-Shock watch, black band
Nylon belt, black, with military buckle
Black Leather Jacket (optional, depending on weather conditions)

This may sound a bit silly or overdone but believe me, when you're penetrating a night club, knowing exactly what your buddies are dressed like can make all the difference in the world if you're hoping to snag some hottie. Let's say i see some cutie and just before I get up to go talk to her and a waitress spills a drink in my lap? No problem, becausei can always swap pants with my buddy. I don't have to worry if they match, because i know he's wearing Levi's 501's. Bam, swap pants and I can still complete my objective.

One thing to keep in mind about night clubs is that you seldom want to penetrate a club on beer. I know, some of the macho jerks do this and brag to all their buddies. Believe me, it's not DIR. You have to do it on mixed drinks. Obviously the mix will be different on different nights but a good volka tonic mix is pretty standard. Again, there's a right way and a wrong way to do this. You can't just order any old volka or depend on some bartender to get the mix right. That's what strokes do. No, you order Stoli Volka, which has an excellent reputation in the DIR party community. The correctblend is 2oz Stoli and tonic water poured over ice in a highball glass(lemon or lime optional). I always bring a testing kit with me and if the blend is off, I send it back. It's just not worth the risk and it's not DIR.

So you penetrate the night cluband you've got a good mix, now it's time to meet the ladies. i should have said this earlier but watch your drink consumption. It's a well-known fact that women look 25%-30% better in a night club and if you get narced up on vodka tonic, it increases your chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you. If it's early, you probably have pretty good viz.

Later in the evening when the smoke silts up the room it'll be harder to make out the women on the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions I've had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back. If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing it right really pays off.

Now, lt's face it, there's a certain degree of danger involved here
that I don't want to downplay. You need to minimize your risk by using the proper equipment. I carry two condoms. One i put on my ...well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes around my waist. If there's a malfunction on the primary, I can quickly go to my backup without skipping a beat.

So. as you can see from these pretty basic examples, DIR is not just for diving. It's something that you can use in all areas of your life.

Keep it real.
  • Like
Reactions: Erik

That's a classic. Strangely enough I've seen a few that actually dress like that.
The Boy Band look? all the little pretty boys pull that stuff here too. :girlie

I do like the beer on a bungee Idea - we do that at keggers so you keep your cup and when your pumping and pooring it helps (trust), drill two holes in the side and run a cord through it. makes for interesting balanceing act... BIG Slurpee cups from 7/11...

Mmmm..... might have to have another one soon....


A classic read - a sense of humor undermines all serious schools of thought - a fun read thanks
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