Driving in Ireland

[Huan]

Driving In Ireland.
Got this today, couldn't help but laugh as all of them are so true...

1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with WW, MO or MH plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland during rush hour.

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
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[DeepThought]

Now add:

14. Always drive in the middle of a narrow 2 way street, it is how you say "hello" to the car that is coming infront of you.

15. If you are a public transport driver of any kind or just picking someone up, never stop on the side of the road and let traffic pass by, you should stop in your lane so the drivers behind you can watch how passangers get on, get off, pay, look for small change, picking dropped small change from the road or just asking directions as to which line they really need.

O, Ireland? I thought that post was about Israel...

 

[naiad]

And for London:

16. If you are a bus driver, always drive past bus stops as fast as possible. This way you won't have to stop and pick up passengers.

 

[Bill McIntyre]

Those are great. My wife and I have spent four summer vacations in Ireland, but we were on bicycles, which felt much safter.

Of course the same is true, only more so, in Italy. Friends ask how we have the guts to ride bikes there, and we ask how they have the guts to drive a car.

Drivers in both countries, as well as France, the Netherlands, and Belgium, are so much more respectful of cyclists than drivers in the US, where they seem enraged that you would ride a bike on their roads.

 

[fcallagy]

Huan
The best laugh is when you do run a red light and gasp in thanks as you just make it saying to yourself wow that was too close for comfort only to see 3 cars behind you in your rear view mirror.
Other favourites were when stopped by Gardai ( police in Ireland ) heading up a one way street incorrectly " I,m only going the one way " (Gardai) " did you not see the arrow ? (driver) Arrow? I didn,t even see the Indian. This usually results in a breathaliser test.