rofl hey sinky, where' you been at?
Hey, there Sandypants.
I've been away from anything fullfilling in life. I've been at two weddings out of my lovely state of Texas. And coming home, I was struck with some sort of respiratory disease that wiped me out for darn near a week! I'll call it SARS Jr.
Perhaps it was the recirculated airconditioning on an already unsatisfactory prominent airline... Don't worry I won't mention any names, American Airlines... or maybe it was the elderly gent sitting in the seat ahead, who's "landing makes my basic lower GI functions switch to default-mode". His posterior-purging-technique well made up for any loss of cabin pressure; this was as ironic as it was unfortunate; I could've used the emergency oxygen mask to drop down at that point.
Not that I haven't lost my apnea skills... It's just that I don't usually carry a Radon gas detector with me on commercial airlines to help determine when to start breathing up for dry statics; not that it would have worked, mind you... unless Radon smells anything like chicken-salad-stuffed aged durian fruit, topped with Limburger cheese, and then roasted over a burning garbage truck tire
The only reason American Homeland Security DIDN'T shoot the plane down was that they were probably afraid to put holes in the plane over a populated area.
Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't a germ I caught, but rather my lungs creating 2 litres of mucus in defense of the poor old sod.
Jeez. I should've gotten his name; he might have finally found a magnet-free solution to shark repellent that probably has more 'oomph' than dead-shark-scent manufactured by any factory this side of Hell.
Since SARS is already taken, we'll just call his special patent-pending inocculating formula "ARSE".
I still thank my lucky SARS that TSA "officials" overlooked the cologne that, by chance, I had stowed in my shirt pocket, which inevitably was passed around the coach class seats quicker than a spliff at an Amsterdam reggae festival.
Well, I might not have all my olfactory facilities that I used to, but I'm alive, obviously... though I will be emotionally scarred.
So when traveling around the tail-end of the summer (pun intended), try to avoid any pressurized cabins (pun intended there as well).
Until next time breath-ren (sorry, these puns stink [sorry for the pun during a pun comment]).
