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Guess my age....

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
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island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
Supporter
Jan 19, 2001
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A woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78! and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the heck, go ahead." The old man slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weights each breast.. He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says,"Okay, okay,...how old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 47."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?" The old man replies, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in the line at McDonald's."
 
Ben Gowland said:
Oh. I thought this was going to be a competition.....

;)


hahahahaha... yeah but my birthday is published ;) and it's not hard to figure out :D

Plus i wouldn't want to put a dampener on my day! :vangry
 
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rofl

A good chuckle with my coffee - nice one!

Here's one some of the fella's (or girls!) might want to try:

Go up to a girl and say "I bet you 50p I can make you boobs move without touching them". If your bet is accepted then give them a good wobble with your hands and pay the 50p for loosing the bet.

You might get a slap. :duh
 
grahamfoster said:
rofl

A good chuckle with my coffee - nice one!

Here's one some of the fella's (or girls!) might want to try:

Go up to a girl and say "I bet you 50p I can make you boobs move without touching them". If your bet is accepted then give them a good wobble with your hands and pay the 50p for loosing the bet.

You might get a slap. :duh


lol!!! i watched my brother do that a few times when we were younger... always got the slap but funnily enough on many occasions the slap followed a huge chat-up session... female psychology, i will never understand it! rofl rofl
 
hAAaar Haaar, good reply too Ben


One of the two most evil questions you can ask a Man
" how old do i look'' and
'' Does my bum look fat in this''

you just know your going to get slapped


Crusty
 
crusty said:
'' Does my bum look fat in this''

Crusty


lol! yeah, "does my bum look fat in this". If your backside is big, it's big no matter what you wear... i stopped asking that very compromising argument-starting question a long time ago...

you do learn some things by the age of 47 rofl rofl
 
U know I luv u Sara... wrinkels and all... rofl

Heres the real poser:

Woman comes in with two dresses, asks: "In which of these does my butt look the fatest?"

I would be asking for a blindfold and one last cigarette before answering! :ko
 
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Nice story Sarah
rofl rofl rofl rofl
And please be patient,we know that you don't have wrinkles at all :)
Aydın
 
You are all in trouble... humph! humph!
Anyway I am smooth where it's important ;)
 
To age or not to age, that is the question...
All the world's a bum, and all the men and women merely staring at it!

...Shakespear's girlfriend, on reaching 47...:D
 
Last edited:
I figure that the better policy is always to add at least 5 and better 10 years to your age. That way people look at you and say something along the lines of "No! You can't be! How do you manage to look so young?" Of course, now I have to claim to be 80 . . .
 
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