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It's August already!

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.

icarus pacific

Nov 7, 2001
But it's still officially July here! While, er... whilst it's good to early, don't call it premature! ;)

Seeing as how the DB judges are here reviewing your efforts of last month, what better time than now to crank up the fertile organ up North and drop a contest on ya? :cool:

A simple one line example of your sense of humor, a dozen or so paragraphs displaying your horticultural expertise, a humble haiku, it's all fodder for the funny bone. You come out ahead of the throngs, nay legions of DB faithful, you skip merrily away with a T shirt or coffee cup sure to reach your doorstep before the next ice age.

And a quick note: No trees were hurt during the shooting of the picture encased belowst.

Ante up and throw down, funnyfolks!:D
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"Sven, buy a Rob Allen. Sven, for the love of God, buy a Rob Allen, PLEASE!";)
....timing and placement...

"...Garden, or dive?.....Garden....or dive?.....garden....nope, I'm goin' diving!!"
...advanced spearcrafting 101

"Choose your gunstock with special attention to grain of wood, density, and strength..."
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Announcing a NEW Line of Spearguns!

Move over Riffe, there's a new line of world class spearguns. SvenMeister promises the highest quality wood guns on the planet in both form and function. Order now and receive your beautifuly hand crafted (and home grown) gun in no more than 25 years!


Sven, after having bagged a Saw-fish, lies in wait for the elusive Dog-fish -- a pescatorial delicacy that is often drawn to small trees by the irresistable urge to mark its territory.
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After his speargun steps on his toe and kicks him in the shin, Sven hatches a revenge plot against the gun's family tree.
"...In a little country town, a long, long way from here,
a blond and bearded spearo, felt desire for a wooden spear.
His gun was crafted by hand...from wood you understand...
but lets get real, no spear of steel will quite complete THIS brand !

So now the search is on, armed with just a rusted saw...
no west coast trees are safe, until that steel spear is no-more!
Once Sven has found the branch, and finished shaping it from dirt,
the wooden gun will be complete, and BlueCape gets a DB shirt!!"

Well, I can always hope

"Hmmm, should I use the saw for a nice clean cut, or the slip-tip for a guranteed landing"
"Teak tree junior just found out what happened to the mummy tree"

uh.. lame... :duh
He's a Lumberjack...

Adapted from the Monty Python original...

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I dive all day.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he dives all day.

I cut down trees. I make my gun. On Wednesdays I go diving' And have halibut for tea.

He cuts down trees. He makes his gun. On Wednesdays he goes divin' And has halibut for tea. He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he dives all day.

I cut down trees. I skip and jump. I like to shoot Riffe's. I put on women's clothing And hang around in bars.

He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps. He likes to shoot Riffe's. He puts on women's clothing And hangs around in bars?! He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he dives all day.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels, Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I had a RobAllen, Just like my dear Papa.

He cuts down trees. He wears high heels, Suspendies, and a bra?![talking] What's this? Wants a RobAllen?! Oh, My! And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter![singing] He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he dives all day.He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay. He dives (wink wink) all night and he dives all day.
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And the token crass joke... :D

No matter how many times Svens wife expressed disinterest in his wood, he always got the wrong idea...

Retort to Shadowkiller

Wrong species; that's called a lumber jack-in-the-box...he always pops up when you least expect him, looking goofier than the last time you saw him.
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"Well, I can't seem to shoot anything worth eating with it; maybe if I saw it into pieces and plant them, they'll produce something edible."
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Business plan!

"Svens idea of a spear gun plantation looked good on paper, but he found out he would have to wait some time to reap the rewards"

"Now, lets see..... just keep smiling..... pull the spear out of the ground and out of my foot.... <sweating breaking out> that's it, just keep smiling..... if this doesn't work, we'll try sawing it off just above my shoe and lifting my foot off.... just keep smiling.....who put tension on the blasted thing anyway?..... just keep smiling ..... I KNEW I shouldn't have filed that trigger release down so much.... just keep smiling <gritting teeth>..... "


Pretty lame but.....

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