Okay, maybe then it's time for something a little more "non-denominational". Some of you may have heard this one in various guises but anyway...
A freediver is diving near a busy beach, and having pushed a little too hard, he blacks out. His buddy drags him onto to the beach and screams for help.
A bystander pushes his way forward. "I'm a doctor" he says, and duly starts CPR. After several compressions, some water gushes from the diver's mouth. The doctor gives him a breath, and does more compressions, but to his dismay, more water comes out. Frustrated, the doctors presses repeatedly, but with each compression, more and more water comes out. The diver is now turning blue and the doctor starts to panic, screaming and thumping at the diver's chest.
"You're doing it wrong!" says a voice from the back of the crowd, to which the doctor replies, "I know what I'm doing, I'm a bloody doctor!" The voice replies "Yeah, well I'm a bloody engineer, and if you don't pull his arse out of the water you're going to drain the whole bay!!!"
Groan:duh
Hadley