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Swine flu - all pork shops closed

Discussion in 'The Beach Bar' started by island_sands, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. island_sands

    island_sands Erection Supervisor ;) Supporter

    The UAE has banned the sale and import of pork now, and all pork shops have closed.

    They are worried we will all get [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swine_influenza"]Swine Flu[/ame] :head

    We dont interact with pigs, we just eat them. There is a difference!

    There were lots of indignant Philippinos in the office this morning rofl Poor buggers have been robbed of their staple diet :)
    apneaboy likes this.
  2. Oldsarge

    Oldsarge Deeper Blue Budget Bwana Staff Member Forum Mentor

    Hmpf! Sharia through the back door.
  3. foxfish

    foxfish Silver Smoker Staff Member Team Leader

    Still a bit of a worry?
    There are 4 suspected cases on our neighbouring Island of Jersey - only 20 miles from my house (20 miles of sea).
    apneaboy likes this.
  4. podge

    podge Always Hungry

    Plenty of alcohol, a wire brush and a bottle of detol.
    That’ll sort it out!
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2009
  5. octpora

    octpora let go, hold breath

    Yesterday, I went to the mexican restaurant and ordered a pork burrito. Damn good. mmm mmmm mmmm
  6. jay cluskey

    jay cluskey Well-Known Member

    i called the nhs health line today

    all that i could hear was crackling
  7. jay cluskey

    jay cluskey Well-Known Member

    ive broken out in rashers
    apneaboy and island_sands like this.
  8. jay cluskey

    jay cluskey Well-Known Member

    blonde rings hubby up to tell him she has ran out of petrol
    whats the problem? he asked
    im scared to fill up with all the swine flu at the garage!! she replied
    mexico you daft cow!!!! not texico!!!!!!!
    apneaboy likes this.
  9. Kars

    Kars Well-Known Member

    Pavlovian training, scaremongering, keeping the herd in submission, fear and confusion. - Oh please do something, safe me!

    Surrender now to your white coated experts and big pharmacy, go and take your shots - we just had a few million doses ready and sold to your government. There are limited supplies, so be quick, you never know when the next one will come! They are high-tech with super secret ingredients which might help. Though our product is the best we cannot accept any responsibility to any 'side effects', in such cases it's your fault, your bad genes you see*.

    Rest, warmth, swatting, Vitamin C, water, keep your head cool.

    When your better, regained your strength, you might want to read this:
    Vaccines Did Not Save Us - 2 Centuries of Official Statistics - Child Health Safety -

    Love, Courage and Water,


    * how typical, the abuser blames the victim for what may happen to the victim.
    ** would you buy a car that might work?, well I think most would do when there is enough fear...
    Last edited: May 1, 2009
  10. apneaboy

    apneaboy Wellard Supporter

    Last edited: Aug 25, 2009
    spaghetti, Mr. X, jay cluskey and 2 others like this.
  11. badlander

    badlander Registered Cruiser

    It's quite interesting to discover that it's causing death through heart failure.
    Last edited: May 1, 2009
  12. flyflicker

    flyflicker aka John

    I'm off to get some oinkment!!
    apneaboy likes this.
  13. Judge

    Judge New Member

    Ha ha ha... that one takes the prize. Clean and funny.rofl

    If you don't want to catch pig flu don't root round. :naughty
    .... sorry.

  14. jay cluskey

    jay cluskey Well-Known Member

  15. slingshaft

    slingshaft Well-Known Member

    :head:head:duh And these are the guys who want to tell us what to do.
    jay cluskey likes this.
  16. agbiv

    agbiv Spear, cook, and eat fish

    I don't know what everyone is squealing about!!!! All our schools in the area are closed & the little lovelies are running amuck in the neighborhood. :martial
  17. island_sands

    island_sands Erection Supervisor ;) Supporter

    Apparently the government have found a cure, it's some kind of oinkment.....
    Mr. X likes this.
  18. jay cluskey

    jay cluskey Well-Known Member

    Patient: Doctor i think i have symptoms of swine flu!

    Doctor: How long have you fealt this way?

    Patient: Oh about a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekroflrofl
  19. Mr. X

    Mr. X Forum Mentor Staff Member Supporter Forum Mentor

    roflThat picture says it all Podge.

    I was driving to a hospital in Oxford yesterday listening to the national news as they announced that a case had just been reported in Oxfordshire! I reckon a lot of people are going to catch this one -- but survive. One of my brothers has long predicted major war(s) resulting from the pressures of the rapidly growing human population worldwide, as nature's/politic's way of dealing with it -- I wonder if he overlooked the possibility of disease and pandemic, another tool in nature's little box of tricks (along with climate change & atmospheric content).

    Had British pork sausages & bacon for dinner last night:p
    Last edited: May 3, 2009
    apneaboy and island_sands like this.
  20. Oldsarge

    Oldsarge Deeper Blue Budget Bwana Staff Member Forum Mentor

    Pandemic, schmandemic. The death rate from this strain of flu is so low compared to a 'normal' year's toll that it hardly bears talking about, unless you're one of the tiny number who have lost a loved one. One does tire of media hysteria after a while.