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Who's to judge?

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Link to blog seems dodgy... so here's the text in full :)


Freediving and men in Lycra: the final taboo
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Posted 1 Day Ago at 13:39 by Alixir
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I always had ambivalent feelings about men in Lycra, which must be one of the final taboos of freediving. Lately, we have seen new studies dealing with DCS and the possibility of apnea causing serious health problems. Alarmingly, whereas these subjects deserve our full attention, the difficulty arising as a result of displaced dresscode during competitions is largely ignored. Even Linda hasn’t yet breached the subject on her blog so we know it must be a sensitive one. Let’s not get into neoprene here, - that’s another subject for another day. However equally appealing OR unappealing AND owing to thickness of substance, neoprene bears only a relative relevance to the unforgiving sins of masculine Lycra-use.


When it comes to Lycra, Trubridge and Nitsch seem somehow to be above the general rule. Let’s face it; they’re the gods of freediving. As apnea icons, they can hardly be expected to hold up the same views as us mere mortals. They’re like Michelangelo Davids in Speedos (although Herbert’s boxer-style choice does veer towards my favoured end of the men-in-Lycra spectrum – no pun intended).

Women, obviously, do not pose the same difficulties when it comes to Lycra: their curves fit nicely into the stuff. The situation for one woman sharing the shower with five or six Lycra-clad lads is quite a different kettle of fish to one bloke in a douche full of babes in bikinis… But who am I to judge? And when is a judge not a judge? Surely not with his manhood bulging out from below his official t-shirt, swaddled in clinging Lycra?!

Like the famous sweets M&Ms, the first ever judges I encountered as a freediver shared between them certain obvious similarities: same-sounding names, same origins maybe, same age, height, looks… The only difference between these particular M&Ms was that one was judging in Lycra and the other not. Ms who was wearing Lycra (‘s’ for Speedos) – I gathered rapidly – is a class A judge and therefore experienced… And evidently enamoured with a pretty, young apnéèsque hopeful.

No, really… I have to stress that, for me, smooching judges in Lycra equal vileness to the power of ten! A BIG universal NO-NO! I’d rather watch a gay movie any day. And thank the Lord - or more likely thanks to Mercury going retrograde - I wasn’t competing! On surfacing I would have had to witness Ms’s impressive banana-hammock almost at eye-level. Can you imagine being judged and simultaneously being privy to visions of vac-packed bratwurst, all whilst under hypoxia? Did the guy want his girlfriend to samba or what?!


Sadly, now I do understand why some blokes would go for Lycra and even why some women, out of either desperation or naivety, would go for men who choose to wear it. Not wanting to sound defeatist, I just hope that my close encounter with one AIDA judge’s Lycra lifestyle doesn’t hinder my future enthusiasm for a blossoming “career” in competitive freediving.

Judges, please listen to the wise words of Aunty Alixir: a pair of [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boardshorts"]boardshorts[/ame] is the one and only true professional choice. Freedivers should have the right to perform surface protocol without the distraction of male officials displaying dodgy dresscode, ok? In my opinion, the sooner a ‘No judging in visible Speedos’ clause is written into the competition rule book the happier everyone will be. Have I said too much? Well then, before I get a red card, I rest my case.
 
If someone has the selfcontrol not to breathe, surely its a piece of cake to turn your eyes just a bit? I mean if it bothers you to look at something?

And yes Im a woman,middle aged and I dont feel threatened by men in lycra. Eyecandy! (This comment is probably gonna make them all wear boardshorts an loose t-shirts)rofl
 
Ooops Alixir,

I wouldn't have thought someone from Switzerland would have "Speedophobia". That's usually reserved for people of Anglo-Saxon provenance.

Heh, heh, ya gotta realize that to guys from most parts of the world, trunks or slips or briefs are bathing suits, and the shorts that people here in Canada & the USA have the temerity to call swimsuits are only for street wear. An anecdote might illustrate. I have a friend here in Toronto, a church minister, who tried to help out a French buddy during a visit to Normandy. Everybody had decided spontaneously to head over to the beach, but this guy had no bathing suit packed, so our minister friend, who had 2 with him, offered to lend him his extra one (in selfless Christian compassion, not minding having someone else's nether regions occupy his swimming togs :) )

When John pulled out his Canadian style shorts out of his suitcase, the look of horror that came over the guy's face was priceless. He said that the thing John was showing him wasn't a bathing suit & he'd rather not be seen wearing it in the water, and he would just take a walk around town & meet us all at the restaurant later . . . what can you say?

In fact, in a lot of pools in France they have signs saying thing like "slip de bain obligatoire" or they'll have a cartoon of shorts & T-shirts & skirts with a red x through them, and/or briefs with a green checkmark, and you're not even allowed to be on the pool deck in street clothes (as in, non-lycra shorts). In fact, you see signs like those in lots of places. I thought I would try attaching one from Malaysia (see below)

Anyhow, this may be one trend that may be too big for one person to tackle :head - your only solution may be to move to N. America.

I must confess to having a small advantage, too, , even though my family background is WASP Canadian. I'm a biologist, and so I guess the "biology" one sees when guys (and gals) wear lycra suits just rolls off my back- doesn't interfere with my breath-up, breathe-down, or much of anything else, for that matter
 

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Guys, as I said in the first post of this thread, the piece is an example of my "usual sh*ite"... Piss-take... Y'know?? :t

@sross ~ I'm a brit ex-pat so maybe that explains my aversion to Spandex, and the point I'm making doesn't really concern male swimmers or competitors in Lycra, but rather judges who have no reason to get themselves wet.

@frozen duck ~ Just like you, I don't feel threatened by Lycra, which is why I chose to write about the subject: humourously, I hope ;)
 
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXPrfnU3G0&feature=player_embedded"][/ame]
 

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Humorous indeed!, I'm still chuckling. This is a subject of some controversy in the US. For practical reasons only (see below) I'm a speedo fan, but the opposite viewpoint is fun to contemplate.

Board shorts were developed for chafe resistance by guys who use surfboards. Very practical attire for that use. However, in the water, a set of board shorts closely approximates an anchor. Freediving is all about moving efficiently in the water; anchors don't cut it. Speedo's are called speedo for a reason, they are streamlined and fast in the water. From a practical standpoint, its a no brainer, but I have a hard time convincing my 16 year old.

Now, some banana hammocks can get pretty obnoxious, so there is room for discussion, preferably as funny as possible.

Connor
 
Thanks Conner, I like it too. In fact, I set it to music:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R9gd3aQP9A]YouTube - Sea Dancer[/ame]

;)
 
Now, some banana hammocks can get pretty obnoxious, so there is room for discussion, preferably as funny as possible.

Connor

Heh, heh,

The old shorts vs. lycra debate can take some strange twists & turns. Yup, people complain about VPL on lycra-wearing girls and VBL on lycra-clad boys, but guys and gals who wear shorts can cause their own "bio-views" if they're not careful.

It revolves around what position the legs flare open on your shorts. The best biology happens from time-to-time at the local hardcore gym I like to frequent. A guy will lie back on one of the level benches, his shorts legs will open just the wrong way, and voila- boy biology on display!

At the pool I haven't encountered an "open shorts" moment with a judge or anyone else crouched at the pools edge, but guys standing at the pool edge? A couple of times someone has been standing at the pools edge, you happen to look up from the water, and, let's just say that ever afterwards you know whether he hangs to the left or the right of the crotch seam (scientific question here- is this related to R- or L-handedness? What happens with ambidextrous guys??) :hmm

The solution, of course, is to require everybody to buy shorts with those sewn-in briefs, but of course, that is a very un-libertarian restriction of freedom for those hardcore guys who wear shorts precsely because they don't like wearing briefs

. . . Oh, oh . . . now I've really opened a can of worms: the Boxers vs. Briefs debate. Let the battle begin! :ko
 
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