More artsy articulage!
Having some time away from my usual modeling and psychic channeling career led me to wax articulate about those unfortunates to whom the American lingo is unknown and misunderstood. Call me a martyr, but here's some additions for your dicktionary.
snorkel- a rubber or plastic tube used for breathing whilst at the surface when freediving. See also a Lewinski.
wetsuit- a piece of rubber you wear to keep warm and safe. You can also use it for when you go diving.
one piece- a wetsuit made in, uh... one piece! Also when the hottie stays the evening.
two piece- when she stays for breakfast.
beaver tail- the piece of the wetsuit jacket that gets run betwixt the legs and fastened to keep the jacket on.
see also snapper. :t
mid handle- when the handle of the speargun is about 2/3rds down the length of the gun. Also when you can accomplish a reach around the hottie's waist.
rear handle- see butt.
muzzle- the front of the gun where the bands and spear are threaded to the gun. Also handy for getting a barge to shut her yap.
descent- to go down. 'nuff said.
breathup- catching your breath before a descent, the length of wihich depends on the depth, sea state and her hygiene.
stringer- the length of cable :ycard or tuna cord
that you thread your catch onto and the series of words you thread together chatting up the barge whilst scoping for hotties.
flasher- a single or string of shiny pieces used to attract fish. This also describes the Stylron method of pulling aside his pants and asking, "Does this look infected?" :mute
anchor- the heavy thing on the pointy end of the boat, most often called the bow. Also describes a hottie after she tires of you and starts eating chocolates and watching Oprah. See Barge in training.
skin in- look, if I have to tell you... see also descent.
chest load- loading your gun against your rippling pectorals. see also
REAL hottie!:inlove
stomach load- figure it out huh?
mask- it goes on your face; varieties include single and double lens, high and low volume, tinted and mirrored and the Aquiles beer goggle. see also Pie Eyed.
stalk- the act of sneaking up on the fish. Divers in the Midwest use the term to describe local flora.
OZ- a term for Austrailia, truly a bitchin' place and home to a bunch of midget types that party with Judy Garland. Also home to more good looking blonde hotties than anywhere else in this guy's World, excepting Utah, but there's no diving there so who cares??
bug- slang for a lobster and any little something she leaves you that necessitates a trip to the doc for a shot.
Hawaiian shaft- a spear shaft with a single flopper, pointing downward. Also for Pac Island love.
Tahitian shaft- the flooper is up on this one. South Pac Island love
free shaft- when it doesn't cost a thing. Da kine!
Florida- not a bad place to dive and play bingo as you near death. Also renowned for it's large number of mullet-sportin' white trash, trailer park living, TV cop show actors. There's also a lot of very nice tall mountains too.
fathom- maritime speak for 6 feet or about 2 meters; also a word used by educated types to describe their disbelief, as in "I can't fathom how you missed that fish?!"
Anything else you need to know, just ask. :king
sven