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Freediving Jokes

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Deeper Blue Beachcomber
Nov 23, 2002
To be truly recognized in this world, we must start to insiduously invade other areas of life, letting people know who otherwise wouldn't have an inkling that freediving exists and that (shrieks of joy) their neighbor may actually be one!

So, I propose we start a series of freediving jokes about us, the sport, spearfishing, etc.

Not the most brilliant, but my first contribution:

Zen joke: Disciple asks his Master: "How do freedivers gain enlightenment?" "By dropping their weightbelts."

If we get enough we can compile them in a book, sell it and get rich. (Now that's a joke!) ;)

how do freedivers like to bust a groove?
they samba

ooooohhhhh uber lamoo

bust a groove: dance
Last edited:
Mishu, what the heck is "busting a grove"? :D

Disciple: How long will it take to perfect the breathing techinques?
Master: Dont hold your breath....

Ado: Busting a groove = dancing. ;)
Bloodshift is on of the things a Freediver exprience when he dives in that deep blue, but also while practicing statics and a beautifull lady passes his mind :p

The AIDA freedive trainer was teaching preparation for static breatholds to his new recruit, an amply proportioned young lady.

"Nice big breaths" he said.

"Yeth" she replied, "I could hardly thqueethe them into my wet-thoot"

Do I detect a cautionary post from Papa Smurf approaching??
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deepest bear - that is lame!

Seen in the Personal Ads column
Young attractive male seeks female freedive buddy for shared recreation and friendship, must have boat. Please sent photo of boat.

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
Four skin divers

and a bit of an old classic...

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.

The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalkboard, and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
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...then there was the constant-weight freediver, who ended up having a nervous breakdown trying to find his tag among a hundred others...

He had too much on his plate.

( That's going to get me n.k. I think )
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