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It's March!!

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.

icarus pacific

Nov 7, 2001
So it must be time for a Caption Contest :cool:

Winter is crawling slowly towards that early sunlit Spring, where the thoughts of diver and pedestrian alike turn toward dusting off the tool as well as the tools of the trade and what better way to usher in the budding blooms than with some humor, no? :chatup

And seeing as how this crowd seems to fancy the fancies... :inlove

mmm... fancies.:p
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Looks Like Sven's packing his bags and heading to San Francisco to go get married before the Supreme Court shuts them down.

While his friends on the "outside" scorned his choice of apparel, Bob thought his new roommates would approve.

Now if only he could find his snorkel.... :yack

A short story about the practical wisdom of women

The evidence was there, no matter how many times he looked, it just didn't go away. She was getting out of control! Invading a freediver's last refuge wasn't a good way to start a relationship with his new wife though. Why did she have to put her things in his equipment locker? Weren't the three walk-in closets he bought for her enough? He sat down on the floor and let out a savage snarl. Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror he couldn't beleive how much he had changed since getting married. What was she going to do next? Paint the tips of his fins with her favorite nail polish? Wear his weightbelt to the hairdresser? Unable to fight against the raging fury building up inside, his heart finally gave up in a massive stroke and and then started to slow down into what was to become his Personal Best in static. A rather permanent Personal Best.

Two hours later Shirley walks in and finds his body on the garage floor. Gasping, she runs to the phone. "Marge Marge!" She cries excitedly, "It worked!!!", "Sure thing honey," her friend replied, "Just make sure they are freedivers - and rich!"

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Sound's like experience yakkin'

Jeez, Adrian... we ever get together and take up office at a corner cafe whilst the locals ass, er, pass... we'll slay em! ;)
Under 18's look away!

There's nothing women like more , after a good "dive" session, than a shiny pearl necklace from their man ;)

The evidence is right there!!!!!!

Cynthia hope you likes HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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After viewing the picture, a whole new meaning to the kind of "smooth" Sven is refering to in his title of "Sultan of Smooth"
After carfully studying and reviewing each article of evidence found in the box marked 'Alternatives to Viagra', Deputy Peccorini heads off to the shower where he can be alone to wash himself as fast as he wants.

(please remove the content of this post if this is above the limits of acceptable behavior for the forum)
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Originally posted by shaneshac
There's nothing women like more , after a good "dive" session, than a shiny pearl necklace from their man ;)

The evidence is right there!!!!!!

Cynthia hope you like HAHAHAHAHA!!!!


:eek: Busted!!!:p
After giving up on dolphin kicks, Sven has decided to create a new underwater propulsion style after his favorite nudibranch - the spanish dancer.

(I think this nudibranch is nicknamed the same in english:) )
Pearls? I always thought Sven was an Abalone poacher..

(note: this in no way implies Sven has ever done anything untoward with abalone... expcept that mask thing..)
The Swede was evaluating just one more pair of Finns when Officer Peccorini burst in on the scene, mistakenly thinking that one of the Finnish lasses had been screaming his name.
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Peccorini: "Yes, your honour. This equipment was found in the suspect's car. Clear evidence, that the suspect and the alleged freedivers accompanying him, were on their way to New Orleans to attend the 'mighty bra'."
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Another story on the practical wisdom of women...

The Case of the Missing Money

Detective Frank Deepend was worried. He had a right to be. His Captain was breathing down his neck, the press was breathing down his neck, even Mayor Swimfart was breathing down his neck. It was getting crowded there, in his little office. The evidence was scant and the stakes were high. "Frank! you got 24 hours to break this, after that you'll be patrolling the canals", the Captain had said. He sighed, the department issued lousy 3mm wetsuits and masks you could hardly see out of for patrol duty. Twenty-five years on the force and just a couple from retirement. This was no way to start the day.

A nowhere situation that started on a rainy morning when his assistant, Janet Dripdry, handed him the box of evidence from the scene of the crime: the Whalespotter mansion. Stephan Whalespotter was an eccentric philanthropist who had gained a fortune though internet publishing. There had been a short blackout during his annual fancy dress party last night and when the lights came back on there was a sum of 5 million dollars missing from where it should be. "You know Whalespotter's connections", the Captain had said, "this is going to get hot!". "No kidding" he thought, "the Mayor's only called five times
in two hours!".

So far he had discarded everything except the fins and the high - heels. It was obvious the thief was a freediver even though he couldn't understand why she had left behind her equipment and shoes. "Some lady" he mused, "C4's and $400 Gucci’s. Of course! The lady probably had to leave everything behind in order to carry the money, she must have had to do a dynamic no fins on this one! But you blew it my friend, you left behind two little clues, you're a freediver and I know your shoe-size".

"Hey Janet! Get Jon Jumpinlake and Tedisky Spearing from the Sheriff's Department in Wisconsin on the phone, they have good contacts in the freediving world." "Jon?", "No it's Tedisky here, Jon's on the rocks." "On the rocks?" "Yeah, he's ice diving right now, checking out how long it takes for a snowball to melt at 30 feet." "Uh...OK., Listen, I need you to contact all the fin manufacturers and get them to offer free fins for all lady freedivers. Give them a 24 hour time limit, and post it on the fin lineup thread on DeeperBlue. This is for the Whalespotter case so get on the move. I've got everyone and their grandmother screaming at me, so I'll owe you one. The idea is the girls will have to send in their shoe size to get the fins and once we have one that matches the shoes, we close the case!"

Tedisky calls after a few hours. "Frank, we've recieved all the orders and there's only one lady who matches the data: Cynthia Strongswim. Shall we get the San Diego police to bring her in?" "Yeah, wait a minute, there's another call coming in." Tedisky hears Frank yelling "WHAT?" at the top of his voice and the sound of something hitting the wall. "TEDISKY, CANCEL EVERYTHING!!! Whalespotter just called in saying the he'd just found the money hidden under a couple of monofins.

Apparently he'd been too drunk to open the safe and had forgotten all about it. Tell the manufacturers to cancel the orders." "Too late Frank, all the fins have already been sent out - you know how eager they are to please their customers! I also have a nice fat bill for $300,000.00 dollars from them." "$300,000.00? That's a lot of fins!" "The word spreads fast Frankie, are you gonna pay up?" "Yeah, OK., the department will pick up the tab."

Two days later Cynthia is enjoying her new fins and chatting with her friends Mia Minnow and Rachael Roughwater who are visiting. "What a blast, these fins are sooo cool, and I couldn't believe it was so easy to get them! Men are so predictable, just set up the right conditions, push them in the right direction and presto, free fins for everyone! It was nice of Stephan to play along though, pretending he'd lost that money!"

And so ends the second story in the unending battle of the sexes. Freediving or not, women are always going to go much deeper than you. And yes, I'm pointing at *YOU*!

The names have been changed to reflect the guilty. Any similarity to real people is fully intentional.

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rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

frig, let me quit while I'm behind!

Way to go Adrian!

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