June's Contest... Finally!!

bdurrett · Jun 18, 2003

A Baaaaad joke!

Don't Neg Karma me.... you WERE warned but...

Two shells walk into a bar,

The first one says to the second,

"MAN!!! You should have seen the size of that diver last night, the one that tried to pry me from the rock! It had a tire iron the size of a tree and it must have been at LEAST 20 feet long! It was huge! It blocked out all the light coming down from the sky! It was just horrible, I tell ya'! Horrible!"

The second one looks at the first one and asks "How big was it?"

The first one replies "Oh man, it had to be at LEAST 20 feet long!"

The second one rolls it's eyes and says,

....

You KNOW what is coming, don't you?

:hmm

wait for it!

Ya know it's gonna hurt!

:head

The second one rolls its eyes and says........

"Ah-Balonie!"

rofl

loopy · Jun 18, 2003

Hahaha winner!!!

rofl rofl rofl rofl

Griff · Jun 20, 2003

the dinner service was a bit kitsch :hmm

M-2 · Jun 20, 2003

OK Bret.........

"Sven could have just taken the bigger one, but on that day he was feeling a bit......... shellfish."

:blackeye

-m

DiverD · Jun 20, 2003

rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

OceanSwimmer · Jun 20, 2003

....the gloves are off!....

Fredrick's of Hollywood
Summer Special
Manufacturer's seconds!
(Limited sizes available)

DeepThought · Jun 21, 2003

Yarr! 'Ay 'eard this yellow-bearded devil pirate called Sven is so buff n' 'tuff 'E like to eat and spit them abalonees like sunflower seeds!
Yarr!

-Poll: The Greatest Pirate
-Treasure Island Forums

DiverD · Jun 21, 2003

OceanSwimmer,

I hope this is what you meant because icuras is gonna hate me.

OceanSwimmer · Jun 21, 2003

....You got it!

Y'know, DiverD....I kept waiting for a veritable storm of a reaction when I posted for Fredrick's of Hollywood...
(sigh)

rofl Bless you!! :inlove

Shadowkiller · Jun 23, 2003

"One of the Abalone is 10 inches, the other is what men would like to think is 10 inches..."

:naughty :mute

bdurrett · Jun 23, 2003

A little story

One day, the little shell comes up to his dad and tells him, "Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be just like you!"

Dad looks at him and says, "Well son, the life of a big shell is not all that it is cracked up to be. You have to work reallllllly hard to stay in one place on the stone, the two-legs come and try to pull you off, the currents are cold, the winters are dark, and sometimes the food is scarce. All in all, son,

it's a hard-rock life for us! It's a hard rock life, for us...."

(Apologies to Jay-Zee for ripping off his song....)

Bret

M-2 · Jun 23, 2003

Haha! Nice one bret!

Hey Ocean Swimmer, would it be fair say then that.......

"These shells belong to the Little Mermaids lesser known sister, The Big and Little Mermaid."

:hmm

-m

OceanSwimmer · Jun 23, 2003

Originally posted by M-2
Haha! Nice one bret!
Hey Ocean Swimmer, would it be fair to say that.......
"These shells belong to the Little Mermaids lesser known sisters, The Big and Little Mermaid."
:hmm -m

--Ya, M-2; IF the twins weren't identical, I’d say so…..perhaps the reason why the ad from Fredrick’s says “Limited sizes available”?

Griff · Jun 24, 2003

DeepThought · Jun 25, 2003

Hey Sven, all these years when you've been bragging about the size of your ab's, I was certain you were talking about your abdomens! rofl

M-2 · Jun 26, 2003

Learning Curve

When Sven brought home his first ab he didn't know better and washed it in warm water and put it in the dryer. He learned his lesson and later discovered the instructions on the back that read, "hand wash in cool water and let drip dry".

-m

M-2 · Jun 26, 2003

According to Cliff...

According to Cliff Claven, "Actually it's a little known fact that some abs suffer from shrinkage too."

-m

Abriapnea · Jul 1, 2003

Some advice for neophite ab hunters :

A little known fact about abalone
at first sight it appears stoney
If you manage to pry it loose
you will find the best meal you may choose
The one on the right is what you expect
on the left is what you get .

There u go , Sven ...

icarus pacific · Jul 11, 2003

Winnah, winnah, chicken dinner!

Alllllrighty then! The notorious and perfect in every way DB judges, my kids :inlove finally got together here at the palacial crib and went through this month's entries. In no particular odor, er, order...

Amphibious raised mass yucks with his take on my urinary tract. Like he'd know... :hmm Fuzz followed with an epic blast to FDUK- must have been my original hint :t I didn't go into the intricacies of a pearl necklace with them, but thanks, Loopy. :mute

Soon to be married guy :duh Rigdvr made the crew chuckle with his Mini Me reference and I personally liked Ocean Swimmer's subtle :head take on bigger being better. And bdurrett was sooo close, but can you spell obvious??

Und so, the fuzz takes it. Gimme the important type info Harold and ferchrissakes, the T shirt would sooo clash with chrome shorts...:ban

And hey, here's a shoutout about the awards- the T shirts are made as they are awarded it seems. Meaning that it takes some time to grow and shear the cotton fields, spin the fiber and weave it into a shirt. Then the little DB elves need to start looking for other's pens to scam the ink for the logos, so in other words... IF YOU WON, GIVE IT SOME TIME TO REACH YOUR DOOR!! LIKE A MONTH, OK??!! :head

peace.

OceanSwimmer · Jul 11, 2003

Hey, Fuzz, congrats on the T-shirt

My condolences on the shorts. rofl

They are --'out there'-- fella!

OceanSwimmer

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