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Ladies Laugh

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
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Amphibious

Amphibious

Working Class Spearo
Mar 17, 2002
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But batteries can't talk, and thus can't lie! so who will be there to say "Oh Honey, you're the best I've ever had!"

:D jokes jokes, I swear :D
 
sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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Aug 16, 2004
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Quote by Alison: S@#T!! Ive had to make do with Torchy the battery boy rofl


Of course you have backup, Drunky.

Let me clear up some higgledy-piggledy misconceptions about certain Forum Mentors' apocryphal pet, Torchy the Battery Boy.

Undoubtedly wonderful advantages and uses:

Advantages:

He comes with a warranty

Torchy is always dressed in a waterproof, high impact and UV resistant mack

He's always on call and ready for hours of hard work

Always content, Torchy hides patiently in any closet, drawer, or between matresses

Torchy doesn't ruin the mood of the evening by destructing character plot during racy foreign movies

Special Skills:

Deep tissue massages

Stirring paint cans

Frightening burgulars

Spare D-cell battery supply

Busting concrete slabs

Impromptu Pianist (Just drop Torchy humming happily into the piano's case to enjoy such masterpieces as "Flight of the Bumblebee", Rachmonanov's Rach 3, and The Hammerklaiver Sonata [no. 29 op. 106])

Torchy's weak points:

He requires constant guidance

He's dependant, but always ungrateful when you pick him up

Torchy doesn't respond to pillow-talk

His large stature and quiet demeanor might make nosey housemaids uneasy

You'll always have to make the first move

He's awkwardly reticent when trying new things

Torchy can't open jars, step on spiders or bugs, make sure your mechanic isn't lying to you, run to the store for feminine products, or implicitly avoid your "Do you think I look fat in these" questions.

He still doesn't know your name

I hope I've made a constructive point or two regarding your overesteemed peon, Torchy the Battery Boy. I'd have the mind to give you a taste of your own medicine, but Black and Decker has yet to unveil the Beer Keg Wet/Dry Vac.

Touché, ladies!
 
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island_sands

island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
Supporter
Jan 19, 2001
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rofl rofl lmFao!

oh god i cant this anymore.... hehehehehehehehehehe can't give you anymore rep for a while sinky :D

the worse thing about Battery Boy, is when his batteries die out in a crucial moment... in that case, he can be compared to a man!
rofl rofl
 
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mishu1984

mishu1984

Halla Waaaaallllaaa
Aug 15, 2002
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ahemm nothing comes close to the real deal so you can throw Torchy away or request a refund..and Ally..well she doesnt even come close to Puthy Boots Samantha
 
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island_sands

island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
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Jan 19, 2001
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mishu1984 said:
ahemm nothing comes close to the real deal so you can throw Torchy away or request a refund..and Ally..well she doesnt even come close to Puthy Boots Samantha

how should we take that comment Mishu? are you insulting Alison? :vangry
 
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Amphibious

Amphibious

Working Class Spearo
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reference to an american tv sitcom Sara, not our board member :D
 
island_sands

island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
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Amphibious said:
reference to an american tv sitcom Sara, not our board member :D

lol! as in Ally McBeal?? ha! she uses a torch too? if that's the case she would only need a Mini maglite rofl rofl
 
sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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Island Sands said:
how should we take that comment Mishu? are you insulting Alison? :vangry

It looks as though all this talk of such a replacement has left certain forum moderators a little shaken. (bad pun)

Some people get a little too deep with all the droning that emanates from such a long, oscillating subject. Perhaps we should all sit on it before reacting to all this buzz. (horrible pun)

:blackeye
 
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drunkinbda

drunkinbda

The boys are back in town
Jul 11, 2004
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island_sands said:
rofl rofl lmFao!


the worse thing about Battery Boy, is when his batteries die out in a crucial moment... in that case, he can be compared to a man!
rofl rofl

well then you need to upgrade to the new longer lasting batteries :t :king :t

or have a spare set on hand at all times...
 
island_sands

island_sands

Erection Supervisor ;)
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Jan 19, 2001
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Alison said:
Puthy Boots Samantha?? How many fingers does she have then?


The same as Mrs. Palm, and her five daughters :D
 
drunkinbda

drunkinbda

The boys are back in town
Jul 11, 2004
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lol...we should hook her up with Mr. Handerson and his five sons...lol.

the new brady bunch hehe
 
sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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A letter from my own editor:

The previous Beer Keg Wet/Dry Vacuum joke has been edited/deleted to some extent. Due to my own shortcomings as a self-proclaimed humorist, I've accidently caused a bit of confusion. The Ally McBeal/Allay McBeer reference was intended as carefully schemed play-on-words.

Allay is not supposed to be mistaken for our very own Alison.

As most of Interpol knows...I have trouble carefully scheming. In fact, I have been known to hurt myself, and all those people in the overturned bus, carefully scheming to cross the street.

I, in no way, was taking a shot at Alison. It took me a while to see that it might've looked that way. I didn't want anyone else mistaking it for a pile-on.


The actual pile-on is going to be at my apartment this Friday. Torchy will be humming a few tunes for entertainment. There will be plenty of spreads, but don't fill up, as guest will be bobbing for various fruits. :p

Ok...NOW I'll stop.
 
drunkinbda

drunkinbda

The boys are back in town
Jul 11, 2004
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HAHA alison...and who thought a friendly handshake could be so fun eh? my this thread has turned pg-13... for some reason alison and sands have that affect on posts..LOL

yo sink?? another extravaganza?? seriously though..for a texan i never hear you talkin about ribs or beef? whats up with that? we are DEF gettin our grill on in july...somehow and somewhere. oh yeah..got your pm today..you were def not back in 15 mins last night..but anyhoo...back to work.
 
sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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Ribs and Beef. Mmmmm.

I was back in 15 minutes. I had to rush back over to the office and turn log on. You logged off right as I opened up the chat room.

Stood up again! MEN ARE PIGS!

Anyhoo....Yeah we will definitely get our grill awn, Krunky.

I'm going to make my shrimp brochettes.
 
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drunkinbda

drunkinbda

The boys are back in town
Jul 11, 2004
523
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haha..are they anything like shrimp briquettes?
 
sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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Aug 16, 2004
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They're the very same after a good torching under the Space Shuttle launch.
 
bdurrett

bdurrett

Colorado Transplant
Sep 19, 2002
1,383
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island_sands said:
rofl rofl
and here's one for fridge manufacturers
why the hell do you make egg trays for fridges that house 10 eggs, when egg distributors have been selling eggs in trays in batches of SIX for the last 50 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :duh

We have exactly the opposite problem here! The egg holders are in a 6-pack and they sell eggs in either 4-, 6-, or 10 packs, mostly 10'ers..... :head
 
J

johnny

Well-Known Member
Jan 10, 2005
320
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Blonde torchy battery whatever joke rofl rofl rofl


This guy just started at his new job, working at a p***o shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and "can you handle it?" The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in.

She asks, "How much for the white torchy?"

He answers, "$35."

She: "How much for the black one?"

He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."

She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes.

A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much for the black torchy?"

He: "$35."

She: "How much for the white one?"

He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."

She: "Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one before." She pays him, and off she goes.

About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your torches?"

He: "$35 for the white, $35 for the black."

She: "Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?"

He: "Well, that's a very special torchy...it'll cost you $165."

She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one, I've never had a plaid one before." She pays him, and off she goes.

Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do while I was gone?" To which the salesman responded, "I did really good, I sold one white torch, one black torchy, and I sold your thermos for $165!"
 
DeepThought

DeepThought

Freediving Sloth
Sep 8, 2002
2,334
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This joke cannot be true because blondes don't use torchy boys, it chips their teeth. :D
 
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sinkweight

sinkweight

fat flotilla
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ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-ho-ho!

OUCH!
 
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