Continued from the 'Chest Burn' thread:
Once when I was visiting a friend of mine at a Chiropractic school in Georgia a friend of hers took me Mushroom hunting.
He was all worshipful about P.Cubensis, which, as you may know, grows on Cow Poop. He said they were angels.
So, not all that excited about going deep into redneck country to look for illegal drugs off I went. The roads got smaller and smaller and pretty soon we were tooling down dusty little two-tracks surrounded by lush Georgia country side.
By and by the spaced out hippy/jr. chiropractr/shroom-head says "we're almost there!" and we come upon a real live genuine deep south chain gang supervised by an equally authentic Sheriff with a cowboy-style sheriff hat, mirrored aviator sunglasses and a lovely mossberg 12 guage pump propped against his hip in the traditional manner.
Up till then I'd only ever seen one in movies.
"Not Long now!" declared my spaced captor, ostensibly oblivious to the to-my-delicate-northern-sensibilities-genuinely-alarming symbols of omnipresent southern justice that I'd just seen my reflection in. 'AND..' I thought 'on the way back we get to drive by with contraband on board..'
Well, true to his word we pulled up in a gnarly looking stand of mossy trees on the edge of a swamp just a clean shot from the chain gang. I was immediately impressed by the sound of about a million flies. That and the smell quickly brought me to the inevitable visual conclusion of a massively bloated dead cow about 60 feet away. Great.
Directly ahead, atop a small hill in a pasture, was an actual live cow. It put its head down, glared at us, let out what seemed like a really loud mooo, and walked away. I tried to explain to my host that the omens were..uh...marginal, but the angel safarist was unrelenting in his quest for a fruitful pile of cow shit. Meanwhile I could feel the omniscient gaze behind those shades a mere 400 yards away - probing the rattled depths of my soul...
By and by we found zero mushrooms - evidently a first - and left. My spirit guide, naturally, had a jar of P.Cubensis - preserved in Honey, with him at all times and offered me some. Fortunately this revelation took place after we passed the chain gang and God of Southern Justice. Nearly overdosed on incredulity already, and Given the enlightening environmental ambiance, I managed to decline - forgoing the macho temptation of a willful journey into hell.