The social requirement of freediving has me locked out

[jago25_98]

To cut a long story short, freediving clubs basically don't work for me. They don't go ocean diving enough and it's too expensive to do regularly.

Making a friend from a club has been difficult. I'm not very good at handling all the unwritten social rules. To be exact, I have mild aspberger's. I can exert effort for a few hours and you can't tell but after spending a day or 2 with me I will eventually say something socially inappropriate. In some social circles people don't care but in others people do and it makes a difference.
In freediving culture the clubs can be both quite cliquey and also silently judgemental due to safety. With a lot of effort I can get past one of those issues but not both of them for extended amounts of time.

So perhaps I can persuade someone I already know to try freediving? Problem is, they're all afraid of diving!

So,

1) What are the unwritten social rules in your club?

2) How do you persuade someone to try freediving?

 

[xristos]

Ihave similar difficulty finding clubs and buddies the last 5 years. Only thing i can get is weekend dive with others and most of the times at a 30m max place i dont like. The reasons are like you some problems on social level and rarety of people systematically practising the sport or pro/amateur teams you could join like in any other sport. My way of dealing with it is practising solo every day in the pool or the sea. O2 tables are problem. I usually can't finish the table because after 5 6 reps i notice after surfacing low o2 symptoms like close to involuntary movement or light head absent minded forgetting to stop watch although i always do that. Maybe do o2 tables static at bed. Diving every day is important if you dive solo in my opinion. Max attempts only weekend with buddy.
I didn't answer any of your questions but thats how i deal with similar problem. Also in my area the club is not so cliquey but it does quite small number of sessions per week and you need serious money plus it is 1 h drive .

Q1 unwritten rules i know (i dont think though you not knowing them would by any means get you discriminated) Dont show up without fins or mask on open sea training just because you enjoy cnf or noseclip because you wont be able to safety others. Dont blackout.People have stopped diving with me just for one blackout . Dont spill neckweight lead shots in pool. Dont bother people with your problems like you had mouthfill problem or bad blood shift or w/e.

Q2 Judging from myself having social problems I would never try to persuade someone into freediving. In my opinion if you try that you dont have so serious problem you think you have.

I wish you find solution to your problem and feel content and in peace with the solution whatever it may be. Good evening.

 

[J Campbell]

My experience is that here is also a divide between spearfishers and those who just like to freedive for the fun and training. Spearfishers just want to go sperafishing and usually aren't that interested in any pool training.

 

[jago25_98]

My way of dealing with it is practising solo every day in the pool or the sea.

Thanks for admitting it. You've broken a taboo.

To be exact, I have been resisting doing exactly this for the past 4 or 5 years. That is, every week, (since I've always lived by the sea) almost every day I've resisted the temptation to go alone.
It's getting difficult. I can see why someone would crack.

The truth is, there are factors of safety so where you draw that line is different for everyone. That's the inconvenient truth. But this is definitely where I draw the line. I definitely don't do tables alone underwater.
Here comes another one of those unwritten rules - you don't discuss where you draw your line of safety until you've figured out where the other person has drawn theirs. In this (sometimes) judgemental culture, you can't trust them until you know that they have around the same factors of safety as you.

This is the problem. There's this assumption of agreed safety factors. Nobody will admit what things they DO think is OK to do alone. Nobody will admit where their line is, the furthest they would risk safety rather than the easy option of nodding heads on what is obvious not safe.

Personally I really want to find a way to do something alone. The best would be if I could increase safety to some factor I'm happy with and at least be able well with capability, maybe 10-15m only, just to experience the sea again rather than for training's sake. This is all I want really. I don't particular like to dive deep. If it's enough to feel the squeeze and calm, that's enough for me.

J Campbell,
what you say about spearfishering is very true. It's such a culture difference and I'm jealous of that. I've bumped into spearos a few times and it's much more assessable. I might get into it just for the welcoming nature of it even though I'm a vegetarian! Perhaps I can encourage extra safety in that culture without bringing this feeling of fear, taboo and unwritten rules with it.

 

[xristos]

In my opinion you are overthinking going snorkeling at sea to have fun. Amas spongedivers and others have been doing it before we were even born and there was surviving on the line and food for their children much more stressful situation. Unless you have a health condition or your pb less than 25, 10- 15 meter fun diving is really safe ( have buoy for boat traffic though). Around 2015 i got into statics dry during winter so at summer i tried copying someone i had seen doing statics around 13m. That summer i did lots 2 30 - 3 30 such statics solo because i was enjoying it so much the stillness and calm. Now i wouldn't suggest that to anyone , but i wasnt hypoxic on any of them. But i was on some stressful spearfishing dives after one ton of dives just 20 m depth. So if you do it with the right mindset and motives in my opinion your dives would be safe.

Your text has big truths that i will keep in mind, thanks for sharing