2000lb Fish which would be the meanest?

[Huan]

OK
I have a hypothetical question.
If you could imagine any fish that grew to 2000lbs(1000kg)
what would be the meanest?
My choices would be Bluefish or Bull Dolphin.
what would you rate?

 

[Amphibious]

A sunfish. (the litte eating machines kids catch off the dock in North America)

 

[mundial]

i think about bull dophin
the can eat their friend when he is hooked
they also like to eat a small sharks esp young hammerheads !!!!
i can think about reel meen fish

 

[sinkweight]

I'd like to see 2000 lb piranha, piggy perch, or hell, even a Japanese fighting fish.

As for special inherent abilities enlarged to 2000 lb proportions, I'd really enjoy seeing an archer fish squirt unsuspecting fishermen off of docks and boats.

I'd like to see a 2000 lb flying fish take off, out of the water. I wonder what the relative speed is to keep it aloft.

How about a 2000 lb deep sea angler.

Or maybe a 2000 lb tigerfish or giant tigerfish....at 2000 lb the difference wouldn't mean all that much.

Otherwise I'd opt for the bull dolphin for the meanie.

 

[DeepThought]

Not in any particular order:

• Piranha. (no need to explain.)
  
• Cookiecutter shark:
  

  The cookiecutter shark has specialized suctorial lips and a strongly modified pharynx that allow it to attach to the sides of it prey. It then drives its saw-like lower dentition into the skin and flesh of its victim, twists about to cut out a conical plug of flesh, then pull free with the plug cradled by its scoop-like lower jaw and held by the hook-like upper teeth [...] Not dangerous to people because of its small size and habitat preferences.

  An opportunist feeder than can kill or maim you badly in that size.:hmm
  
• Great white shark - o wait, their max. published weight is 3,400kg (~7480 lbs), so 2000lbs would be an improvement.:duh
  (Unless it means that the 2,000lbs one is VERY hungry).
  
• Tiger shark - max. published weight is 807kg (~1775lbs), so there's some place for "enhancement". (Unless I didn't find the right specie on fishbase?)

EDIT: Beaten to the piranha by sink. Interesting choices!
EDIT no2&3: After sink's inspirational choices:

• I wonder how much current a 2,000lbs Electrical eel/torpedo ray would generate.
• I wouldn't wanna be cleaned by a 2,000lbs cleaner as well.

 

[drunkinbda]

def the seargent major, or cow polly i think some people call it. Apparently size for size its the most aggressive fish when it comes to defending its young, or even just its territory. Ive def had these lil buggers try to nip me. Oh turbots are , or as us lifeguards at home call then, killer spindly-fish are TERRIBLE. I swear we taste like candy to them. I think people outside of bda call them grey triggerfish or somethig boring like that. oh..apparently turbots outside of the triangle seem to be some kind of flatfish. well..the pic i have explains..

 

[rigdvr]

damn triggerfish! Hands down, no contest.

 

[sinkweight]

Huan! Very fun thread for a tearfully bored cubicle larvae such as I. You need to get this talleyed...won't you start a poll for your original question..the bull dolphin or the bluefish?

Now, I know this steps out of bounds. But all this talk about 2000 lb versions of different fish has given me a great movie idea.

It'll be about a 2000 lb hermit crab with an abandoned diving bell for a shell. The hermit crab comes ashore, as the harbinger of an ancient curse set upon the children (now out of high school) of a poor Texas coastal community, as payment for relocating and enslaving hermit crabs when they were young. I already know how at least four promiscous teenagers are going to buy the farm.

Give me time to work the kinks out, everybody.

 

[Oldsarge]

I love it! Quick, someone, get that man an agent!

 

[IB Boyd]

A sea urchin! I hopped out of a panga once, not realizing how shallow the water was. Gues what I landed on? Had to piss on my foot. And that one weighed a couple ounces.......a 2000# Man-O-war would be bad news to.

 

[drunkinbda]

omg.. man-o-war... i cant imagine that one. the already get 30ft+ tentacles. and like the urchin aren't more than a few ounces....but 2000lb????? haha..that thing would have reach from portugal all the way round the gulf stream!!

have i ever told anyone about the evolution/creation of the PMOW?

 

[shaneshac]

What about a 2000 lb flying fish???

Would we dare to take trans-atlantic flights???????

 

[sinkweight]

a 2000# Man-O-war would be bad news to.

"General, SIR! The only way we can destroy is to strand it at low tide!" Says a flustered man in uniform, leaning over the war room desk.

A furrow-browed higher-up sits turned from him, staring at a Strategic Air Command map. "What happens then, Major? We just sit there and wait for a deadly monster to wither on a public beach. We'll have to call in an airstrike. An airstrike on this quite little town. I don't like this at all, Major."

"General, sir...that may not be necessary...scientists have already developed a 50 ft. tall child with a giant, sharp stick to finish the job. All we have to do is wait, sir."

"And what will we do with the child once he's finished, Major?"

Sliding a manila folder full of top secret documents and satellite photos across the General's table, "They're already putting the finishing touches on the 'time-out' facility in Guantanamo Bay, sir."

 

[Oldsarge]

Somebody give Sinky some rep points. I tried but the system thinks I have given him too many already and I haven't laid a finger on him. Stupid computers!

Y'know, I used to come up with really outragious plotlines for military training scenarios and was accused of being a closet screenwriter. I think "someone" else is trying to horn in on the game . . . or has too much time on his hands. Go Sinkweight!

 

[DeepThought]

Party pooping:
Crabs, sea urchins and jellyfish-oids are not fish.

Think of the disgustment stepping on a 2000lbs sea cucumber (not a fish) only for it to retort with it self eviscerating upon yourself and squirting those white sticky strands I forgot the name of.

 

[sinkweight]

No party pooping, Deep.

Ooooh, how about a 2000 lb piece of poop. Let's hope for the spearo's sake it's a floater!

 

[Adrian]

A 2000 pound grouper...with it's mouth wide open you'ld think you're swimming into a cave.

Adrian

 

[sinkweight]

Here's a picture I made of Adrian vs. his 2000 lb grouper.

 

[naiad]

A 2000lb carp would be like a giant hoover - they love their food. Have you seen ornamental carp eating? They make sucking noises and push their heads out of the water to get the food. This has little to do with whether they have eaten recently - they would eat all day given the chance. They are careful not to eat smaller carp, as I have seen very small ones among the feeding frenzy and they don't get eaten. I don't know whether freedivers would be considered friends or food - maybe it would be possible to pass as one of them by packing frantically.

 

[brasher]

i dont know about mean, but nothing would throw the food chain out like a couple of 2000 pound planton,