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Funny Dive Stories

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
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What do you do when your concentration is totally shot?

  • Laugh underwater and quit the dive before you drown

    Votes: 5 31.3%
  • I'll finish this dive if I gotta be dragged out unconscious!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Figure a way to hold it together, somehow, just to make the goal--or close

    Votes: 8 50.0%
  • Come up cussing and swearing

    Votes: 5 31.3%

  • Total voters


New Member
Jan 13, 2004
HI Gang,

As promised, on Christianfreedivers--I am posting the funny story about my latest attempted PB.
I'd been, for several days--thinking of trying for 180 feet--Dynamic. I'd already done numbers of 75s, 100s, 120s, and even a couple 150s.
Well, today I came to the YMCA pool feeling good. Relaxed. Not knowing if today would be THE DAY--That would depend on how many swimmers I was sharing the pool with--and what they were doing.
Anyhow--immediately, I saw it probably wasn't going to happen--not without having to ask someone to get out of the way, which I don't believe in doing, unless it's, like, life or death.
So I practiced depth exercises instead. Gerry's suggestions did NOT go over well with my ears, so I did my own version--full lungs--and happy ears--very pleasurable.
THEN IT HAPPENED! Pool emptied out--Yow--I Had Room--to Try that 180 feet! I warmed up with a few stretches, fiddling around, and, seeing I only had about 15 minutes before I had to leave, started with a 120. Then, I decided, Why Not? Go for it!
About 60 feet along, the dreaded thing happened--the intercom blatted--really loud--just about totally destroying my concentration--and I thought real fast: Do I continue this dive, or do I try another day? I decided to push on--and then it got really crazy! That weird advertizement song "6875309--I got it" came blatting into my mind--really, really, powerful--Yow! Normally, the dive would've ended right there--but Jeepers, Creepers, I managed not to break up laughing underwater, so I pressed on--the song following right after me...I thought, I GOTTA AT LEAST FINISH 120! But, when I was at 120--I thought, well, I've come this far--and I'm dying for oxygen anyhow--my concentration's just about shot--why not do another 150? I had two under my belt, why not three? So I did. :):):) My mind was getting a bit fuzzy towards the end--but I did finish that 150 feet! I don't think I could've gone to 180 at that point.
The coolest part? I pushed through the Head Trip of the Tyranny of the Intercom--and other sundry interruptions on my diving time.
Yeehah! I also came up gasping for air like I'd been down for, well, a, loooooong time....
Water Rat--at your service :) Anybody else have a funny story, about struggling through a dive?
Having a break in your mental focus and then bouncing back is a huge win regardless of the distance. Well done. :)
Once I was doing a no-fins dynamic when a scuba diver suddenly appeared in front of me, so I had to do a stylish mid-water turn to avoid her! It was still a PB of about 30m!

The strangest thing I did was a few weeks ago. I was doing dynamics without fins, and had just done several really easy ones of about 20-25m, so I decided to go for 30m. After about 15m I started thinking "it's really boring being in the pool, I wish I were freediving in the sea, I could see all kinds of amazing things....." I became totally absorbed in my thoughts, stopped moving and settled on the bottom of the pool. Soon I realised "Hey, what am I doing?!?", got up and started swimming again! I didn't quite make it to 30m, but came up perfectly clean.

My attention span is shorter than the time I can hold my breath!

Dear Smellsfishy & Lucia,

Thanks for the compliment--:) I've noticed a break in mental focus is usually a *bad* thing for most freedivers I've talked to.
Lucia? YOU are a GIRL! I am too... :):)
I wish I had the sea to dive in--but I'm too far away, and my doctor said "No, with rapid-cycling bipolar, you could have impaired judgement--no diving in the ocean." BUT--It DOES sound Wonderful--:)
Sooo--what was the look on Ms. SCUBA Diver's face? I've heard this story before--LOL--from my friend Theresa, on Christianfreedivers. She said "His eyes got really big--until I gave him the thumbs up sign, and he returned it, then swam away." She was doing depth. I forgot how deep.
Btw--YOU must be skinny--to float down to the bottom, because you forgot to propel yourself...or do you use weights? Thirty meters is--what? 100 feet? I suck at math, and I'm none too familiar with the metric system. The DOWN SIDE of being an American--*seems everyone else uses the metric system but us*
Water Rat--who is a Girl--:) AND likes it!
The scuba diver had her back to me and I don't think she even noticed me!

I use weights for dynamics, 4kg, so I am almost neutral.

I thought the seahorse was really cute, and I like seahorses! I'm glad you like it too!

I've wanted pet seahorses ever since I was a kid--I finally did have the pleasure of Freddie, the Albino African frog. My friend Shawna gave him to me...she wasn't much of a petowner type, so her hubby finally told her to flush the poor little frog down the toilet. Shawna took pity on the poor little fella, so I got him. Unfortunately, Freddie wasn't used to sharing his tank with other aquatic life--he eventually stole food from the Algae eater ONE TOO MANY TIMES--and turned up dead. I think they got in a food fight--one night--and Freddie lost.....:(
I loved that little frog.
Water Rat
YEEEEHAH!!! Did I forget to say? I got my 180 feet, yesterday--July 2, 2004. Now--for 210....:):):)
Water Rat
Dynamic??? Anyway congrats!!! My best dynamic is 75m without fins (3 laps 25m)
Dear Snorkel Bum,

Please translate 75 meters for me. What is that in feet? They never really did manage to switch the Good Old USA to the metric system. I know a meter is 39 inches--but I totally suck at MATH!
Water Rat, whose maleness is *greatly exaggerated* Do you know how many times I've had to tell fellow freedivers I've just met *I'M A GIRL*! (Lovin' the sport anyways)
Hi Water Rat,

I used to have pet frogs too, among many other strange creatures. They are so cute! Have you still got a fish tank?

My longest dynamic (no fins) is a bit over 100 feet.

Hey, fun thread you started Water Rat! :)

Practicing dynamics in a public pool can be difficult because of various distractions. Children are a good example. I was once in the middle of a peacefull no-fins dynamic, counting the strokes, minding my own business, when a huge crashing sound errupted right next to me. Startled, I looked around to see the frantic, flailing legs of a 10-year old just a meter away. Before I had time to think about that, another 10-year old crashed through the water, only just missing me. Turns out they thought the lane was empty and decided it would be fun to run off the pool edge to see how far they could jump.

On a few other occasions I have had swimmers inadvertently kick me. For some reaon, some individuals refuse to swim in a pattern, creating chaos in the pool. Therefore it doesn't matter how carefull you are when you choose to start a dynamic. 45 seconds later the other swimmers can be anywhere. Very frustrating.

There have also been occasions when I have reached one end of the pool, about to turn, when I hear the ladder at the far end creak, meaning new people are entering the pool. Since I am completely immersed, the lane looks empty. You can guess which lane they will choose...

To constantly have to listen and look around during a dynamic, is one of the reasons I have stopped that kind of training altogether. Better to stay home and do dry statics or apnea walks instead.
Once I was doing (short) statics in a public pool, holding onto the bottom of the ladder (there were five ladders, so I wasn't getting in anyone's way), when suddenly something very heavy landed on me. There was a boy standing on me! He got out of the pool by climbing over me and trying to stand on my head. Another boy kicked me on the back quite hard. I decided to get away fast and came up several metres away. The group of boys were running away laughing, and the two men who were supervising them didn't even look back to check that I was OK! I wasn't hurt at all, and had lots of air left, so I thought it was funny!

OH, Wow, Lucia!
Presence of mind!! I would've been very upset!!! But then--I spent most of my childhood and adolescence dodging bullies.
I've gotten to the point where I only do freedive exercises during Adult Swim hours. Sometimes, if I hear a noise, that I don't recognize--or hear someone say something that I suspect is about me--I'll get downright paranoid!
Just the other day, I actually thought the lifeguards had seen me do four enjoyable statics--none of them stellar--and, also read my mind--so knew I had the audacity to ENJOY those statics--NONE of which broke 2 minutes!--A Big Victory for me--I furthermore believed--those lifeguards knew I hate noise--via some sort of mind-reading technique--and BANGED the storage bin lids, to punish and terrorize me--for enjoying those Statics! I wasn't even in the pool area--I was heading for the locker rooms, by then! I suppose if I'd broken 4 minutes--which I haven't--yet--WET--just dry...I'd be thinkin' the lifeguards were either signalling me to quit holding my breath too long--without a spotter--or signalling me to quit holding my breath so long--I might eclipse THEM!!
Is That ridiculous, or what? Yes, I am a certified paranoid schizophrenic--LOL! It's for real--I saw it in my medical records, once. But it is pretty funny--once the feeling passes, and I'm all calmed down. :)
I fought down the paranoia today when two old ladies said to me, "Hold your breath, the water's cold!" It--the water--WAS cold--it has been, all week...it usually isn't. But, I just decided to smile at them, and think: Yeah, they've noticed my breathholding ability. They'd been watching me for weeks!
I don't have an aquarium anymore--I grew up with aquariums. Raised fish since I was 8. Hubby finally got tired of having to help take care of them. The one we had married was large.
My Dynamic PB is 180 feet. :):):)
Water Rat
I once did about 2 minutes static on the bottom of the pool.
Little did I know that meanwhile a group of 10 or so "lifeguard students" had gathered around the corner of the pool for some training. As I came up, some of them were already shouting and getting ready to rescue me and asking my buddies what's going on. It must seem strange to them, learning to get people out of water that some of us would willingly go down to see how long we can hold our breath.

So don't mix freediving and lifeguard students! On the other hand, I never felt safer in my life ;)
I always think it's funny to see the look on a lifeguard's face when someone is doing a long static!
Was out fishing one evening last week, across the bay I could hear and see a speedboat trying to pull a novice waterskier. I sort of kept an eye on this just in case they came my way and also because I was curious to see if this poor soul would ever get up. I guess after about 3/4 hour I heard a boat engine in the water somewhat louder than I had all day so I looked up and sure enough it was the same boat pulling the skier but coming directly at me, Im in close to the rocks so its not going to hit me. As the boat came closer I could see the driver and passenger looking back at the skier in hysterics, then as the boat turned away from me the poor skier came into view, a girl of about 30 who was not wearing a wetsuit and her bikini bottoms were down around her knees and she was bent forward with her bare bum in the air! (I guess they came down as she cleared the water and was so happy at getting up she wasnt going to let go) above the boat engine, all I could hear was this girl screaming at the driver "YOU B@*#$D! YOU B@*#$D! YOU B@*#$D!!
Well thats about as funny a story as Ive got :)
I'm sure that some posts have disappeared from this thread...What happened?

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