How to convince my parents to let me go spearfishing?

[Nicholas_Pachis]

Hello again! To start i've been spearfishing for about 2 years (this is the 2nd year), but this year my parents won't let me go spearfishing (it took me a week to make them let me go and teach spearfishing at 7m to my 18 year old cousin from Sweden who came to visit me for summer). So for a month we were going spearfishing with my polespear mostly (we got octapus,mullets,perch,flatfish, and a sargus) and occassionaly (about 3 times) with one of my uncles demka velos 75 and cressi appache 90, but they won't let me go spearfishing alone (im 70% ok with that) or with one or more of my friends (one same age as me (15) spearfishes 3 years and his cousin 23 who has been spearfishing for over 12 years) because last August my cousin (another not the Swedish guy) who was also a very close family friend and was going at 35m ALONE drowned, (actually had hypoxia).

What can i do to convince them that i'm not going to overestimate my strengths, and that im going to be careful and always be with someone? I really love spearfishing and i can't stand not being able to do it, and next year i'm planning to buy and a speargun of my own (Apnea Rayo Carbon 83).
It's okay now because i don't go spearfishing at winter (1-2times the most) beacause of school and because i also go hunting, but spring-summer i have to go spearfishing or i'll go mad...

Oh, and my father used to go spearfishing for 25 years until last summer...

 

[Mr. X]

Hmm, difficult one. I expect many parent who allow their children to spearfish - or take part in other "adventure"/"extreme" activities - don't fully appreciate the dangers. Your parents on the other hand are acutely aware of the dangers, your cousin drowned diving & your father is an experienced spearo. They have legitimate concerns. No doubt they have your safety at heart and that's a good thing - although rather inconvenient for you.

Do you have siblings? It is harsh to say but, in my limited experience, the more kids there are, usually the easier it is to get parents to allow more adventurous activities. Parents understandably tend to keep a close eye on the safety of only children.

As a parent myself, things that might influence me would be:
a. Consistent, responsible behaviour & sensible decision making. A cautious, mature attitude.
b. No tendency to "prat around" & show off (that would be bad when there are loaded spearguns around).
c. Safety consciousness - have you read up on the risks, safety techniques, taken training,...? What did your cousin do wrong that you could avoid or learn from?

At 15 you are still quite young for this. Behave well and you parents may recognise it. Some kids are much more grown up for their age than others. You will soon be 16 and we parents have to starting slackening our controls gradually - after all you will then soon be 18 and (legally at least) be able to make many of your own decisions.

My son hasn't been that interested in spearing so far, although he does snorkel with me occasionally and he has done other activities, such as surfing, climbing & mountaineering. He has always been sensible/mature for his age which I find re-assuring , and I have taught him to be responsible for his own safety & to trust his own judgement (rather than rely on the judgement of others) from an early age, but I keep a close eye on him too

Perhaps you could come up with some kind of plan that will help reassure your parents? e.g. identify a location that is relatively safe and perhaps invite your father to either spear with you or perhaps just swim/snorkel nearby and/or perhaps have another experienced, responsible adult dive with you? Have a plan for dealing with hypoxia/SWB. Also, think about how your parents would be affected if something did happen to you - it might help you understand their position.

 

[Joao Pedro]

Their concern is very rational and you will only convince them with solid facts and arguments. Show them you are not only aware of the dangers but also prepared to act to your safety. The problem is that, in a situation of a swb, no matter what you did in the past to prepare, your life will be in the hand of your partner. So, it's really also about convincing your parents that your friend will know what to do in this situation.

I prefer not to say convince, may sound that you are trying to fool your parents, when if you really want to do that, you will only be fooling yourself. So, I think the most important is:

- Make sure you and your partner know what to do in a blackout situation. Show your parents that.
- Select places with less hazards (currents, sharks, etc). Show your parents.
- Ask them to list all the things that can happen with you when you dive. Make sure you know what to do and show them.

But, the key to convince them, imo, is to tell them that no matter what, you will eventually spearfish in the future (assuming you really like it and want to do it in the future). I think right now, their hope is that you forget diving and find another activity.

 

[Nicholas_Pachis]

No my parents have told me that I'm mature, but they are just really scared after what happened to my cousin. He was staying 5 minutes at 35meters with one breath... And because i stay long underwater (3minutes static 1.45-2minutes dynamic) but i always come out BEFORE i feel the urge to breath like 20 secs or more before i need oxygen. But we atleast agreed that I'm not going to spearfish in deeper than 7m and that no mater what i will never chase a fish... (That's how my cousin had hypoxia we saw it in his gopro vid, he tried to stay a lot longer to get a fish he got it but he didn't come up at time)

Anyway... Thank you all for the replies! You have been very helpful and i appreciate it!
P.S (Joao the "key" you said to convince them has been already used in order to get my husqvarna TE 300... I don't think it's going to work again with spearfishing...)