Lil D is checking out

[Lil Dragonfly]

It is against my better judgment to continue to post publicly on a forum where most people behave more like pack animals than civilized human beings.

If anyone wishes to reach me, I will still be checking my PM box. Or email/instant message me.

Good luck to you all.

 

[Salehthefish]

Sorry to hear this, but from what i saw in other forums deeperblue is most friendly among all!!! In addition to that i will not expect a life without the nice ppl around u Try to avoid the nice ones Again sorry for that

 

[yugyug]

don't go! I only just discovered that hilarious thread about inflatable somethings or others.. not really sure what that was about, all the good posts seem to have been deleted... but anyway, deeperblue needs more colorful characters and you seem to fit the bill nicely.

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

Kars thinks that I should attempt to make peace with the people who bullied me.

If it doesn't work, at least I tried.

I hope this is ok

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

don't go! I only just discovered that hilarious thread about inflatable somethings or others.. not really sure what that was about, all the good posts seem to have been deleted... but anyway, deeperblue needs more colorful characters and you seem to fit the bill nicely.

Thank you, yugyug, for giving an example of why I left.

Now, if only the mods here would crack down on sociopathy with the same fervor with which they censored my use of dry wit this forum would be a much better place!

 

[ReefTroll]

Very apt thread

 

[Kars]

Yo Lil, it's a while ago, I'm feeling pretty miserable with no job, money or income and a dark outlook on the future, how are you?

Love, Courage and Water,

Kars

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

Thank you, yugyug, for giving an example of why I left.

Now, if only the mods here would crack down on sociopathy with the same fervor with which they censored my use of dry wit this forum would be a much better place!

Oh, great I really should NOT have worded it that way. That could easily be misinterpreted!

To clear up any confusion:

- The use of profanity: that was the dry wit. Although, since people could not see my face through the computer that may not have been obvious; my gentle tone and raised eyebrow could have easily been mistaken for a snarl and a middle finger.

- The threads that caused people to be nasty and call me names ("troll", "attention seeker", etc.): those were 100% serious.

Shame on me for expecting people to be able to read my mind and asking questions in a succinct fashion instead of explaining exactly where I was coming from right from the beginning. And, shame on them for attacking me rather than explaining that they did not understand.

I suspect that had I calmly confronted them when they put their own spin on things they might have turned around and started being nice to me. (Recently on another forum I did that, causing everyone to apologize profusely for their behavior.) But instead I felt hurt and nervously scurried off, prompting them to attack even more.

If I do decide to come back I will have someone on Deeper Blue proofread my posts before I post them to make sure that they cannot be misconstrued.

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

Yo Lil, it's a while ago, I'm feeling pretty miserable with no job, money or income and a dark outlook on the future, how are you?

Love, Courage and Water,

Kars

If you are being serious- I am sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

If you mistook me for a troll, and are posting claptrap in response- Your inability to see things objectively makes me want to pull my hair out.

 

[apneaboy]

Lil.

Fresh start, just post.

 

[ReefTroll]

Lil.

Fresh start, just post.

Yup, just post.
Hell, ask my workmates, I still talk.

 

[Bill McIntyre]

It is against my better judgment to continue to post publicly on a forum where most people behave more like pack animals than civilized human beings.

Is this sarcasm? This the most well moderated and civil diving forum I've ever seen.

If you can't get along here, you probably can't get along anywhere.

 

[ReefTroll]

I guess in my honest opinion, I am confused as to why somebody posts about not posting...
A.W'ing

 

[Kars]

If you are being serious- I am sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

If you mistook me for a troll, and are posting claptrap in response- Your inability to see things objectively makes me want to pull my hair out.

Oh yes it is all true, but I tried to serve it with some (dark) humour.

How you can help? Maybe you can tell me how you can work with hart - do your sincere best - and succeed in not feeling either a failure or personally attacked when people 'criticize' your work.
I know people are trained to be judgemental, often failing to recognise the intention, identify the good.
I'm searching.

Thanks,

Kars

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

Is this sarcasm? This the most well moderated and civil diving forum I've ever seen.

If you can't get along here, you probably can't get along anywhere.

I find that non-diving-related forums are more civil and more tightly moderated.

Freedivers seem to be a rough-and-tumble crowd.

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

I guess in my honest opinion, I am confused as to why somebody posts about not posting...
A.W'ing

This other forum that I am a member of has a "goodbyes" section as well as an "intros" section. If anyone leaves they are expected to say their farewells first.

Deeper Blue doesn't have a goodbye section so I just put it in this section instead.

But then again, the subculture over there is very different (it's more of a family-style setting...)

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

I know people are trained to be judgemental, often failing to recognise the intention, identify the good.

Just to play the devil's advocate, the people who were nasty to me might not have met anyone with mannerisms like mine in real life. Perhaps the imagery in their heads as they read my posts in no way resembled the way I speak.

It is difficult for the mind to picture what one has not experienced.

A few examples:

1. One time I replied to a PM with a comment that was spoken in a friendly, honest, and straightforward voice. He shot back, "It galls me that after I have been nice to you you reply with a sting of sarcasm! Good luck and goodbye." My response? "No no no! That was NOT sarcasm! Sorry if it came across that way, text has no tone of voice it seems." He forgave me, started chatting with me on messenger, and we have been close friends ever since.

2. In real life when I call people names it comes across as a display of affection. For instance, the other day at the grocery store I told the cashier "You're a loser, they should fire you!". Since she was able to see my mannerisms it was obvious that I was ribbing her not insulting her, and she responded by laughing and playfully poking me on the shoulder.

Unfortunately I once posted something like that (impulsively without thinking!) on a message board...she cut off all contact with me :waterwork

I tried to send her a PM to explain...too late, she had already blocked me. I bet she felt hurt and offended.

3. In real life if I say "I think this" it is blatantly obvious by my tone that I am being friendly. Then when people get confused they reply in an equally friendly tone, "Why do you think that? I am confused for the following reasons..." Then I continue to explain, and they go, "Ah!".

On the internet if I say "I think this, not to be confused with that, and the entire reason I am bringing it up is..." I get a positive response. Wheras if I just say "I think this" people imagine me saying it in an inflammatory tone (only because many people do not communicate the way I do, the only people they have met who are that succinct are TROLLS!)

At any rate, I should probably forgive everyone because I am not perfect either (I just misinterpreted your tone earlier in this thread after all!!!)

 

[apneaboy]

I guess in my honest opinion, I am confused as to why somebody posts about not posting...
A.W'ing

your posting about someone posting about not posting. that has to be worse, i'm not surprised you are confused ;-)

 

[Kars]

Well Dragonfly,

I think you successfully identified the source, misunderstandings of various kind.

Did you know when people meet face to face the non verbal communication part is .. 90%!

Since education isn't any more including the art / skill of rhetoric, most have lost the words and ways to communicate verbally.

Now add that here people from all over the world, who's native language isn't English, have all a different context and mental associations, and you have a wide possibility for the communication to fail.

To counter this I often reread my post before or just after posting and check to see if things have a singular meaning and words do not 'attack' any person. Though sarcasm and dark humor can be cool, here they need a smiley to make it clear for the foreign or casual reader that it is indeed sarcasm.

I take pleasure in writing up 'quality' posts, trying to be complete precise and colourful in my wording with not only the aim of getting some questions answered, but with the aim of having a discussion where we all think and grow above our current abilities.

Understanding the subconscious a bit I choose to use positive and affirmative wording instead of words like not and or the prefix un. Example when I write as a comment "not bad", the subconscious of the reader will fail to register the word "not", only registering the word "Bad". Which is the opposite I wanted to communicate. So I rather say "pretty", "nice". etc.

About the people on this forum.
In my experience these are all passionate and compassionate people. They may have their sensitivities and weaknesses but I let myself not fall into an argument where we both loose our cool and decent into an emotional exchange, playing that game where everybody looses, called "who is right?".

Welcome back, I'm looking forward to your posts!

Love, Courage and Water.

Kars.

ps. now some proofreading

 

[spaghetti]

Well Dragonfly,

I think you successfully identified the source, misunderstandings of various kind.

Did you know when people meet face to face the non verbal communication part is .. 90%!

Since education isn't any more including the art / skill of rhetoric, most have lost the words and ways to communicate verbally.

Now add that here people from all over the world, who's native language isn't English, have all a different context and mental associations, and you have a wide possibility for the communication to fail.

To counter this I often reread my post before or just after posting and check to see if things have a singular meaning and words do not 'attack' any person. Though sarcasm and dark humor can be cool, here they need a smiley to make it clear for the foreign or casual reader that it is indeed sarcasm.

I take pleasure in writing up 'quality' posts, trying to be complete precise and colourful in my wording with not only the aim of getting some questions answered, but with the aim of having a discussion where we all think and grow above our current abilities.

Understanding the subconscious a bit I choose to use positive and affirmative wording instead of words like not and or the prefix un. Example when I write as a comment "not bad", the subconscious of the reader will fail to register the word "not", only registering the word "Bad". Which is the opposite I wanted to communicate. So I rather say "pretty", "nice". etc.

About the people on this forum.
In my experience these are all passionate and compassionate people. They may have their sensitivities and weaknesses but I let myself not fall into an argument where we both loose our cool and decent into an emotional exchange, playing that game where everybody looses, called "who is right?".

Welcome back, I'm looking forward to your posts!

Love, Courage and Water.

Kars.

ps. now some proofreading

+1 what he said.