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Little Johnny Joke

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Little Johnny was sitting on the park bench one day eating a bag of candy. A man walks up and sits down beside him to rest his feet. The old man watched Johnny eat about 10 pieces of candy then said to him, "You know little boy...eating all that candy isn't good for you". Little Johnny didn't say anything, ate a couple pieces more... then said to the man "My grandpa lived to be a hundred years old". The man replied "Really...Did he eat a lot of candy?" Johnny replied "Nope. He just minded his own F***ing business".
 
A traveling salesman knocks on the door of Little Johnny's house. Little Johnny answers the door, he's got a bottle of whiskey in one hand and smokin' a cigar with the other. The salesman says "Young man, are your parents home?". Little Johnny replies "What the F*ck do you think?!".
 
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K.. so lil Johnny is in class one day right at the end of the school year. The students are talkin about what they are doing over summer, when the teacher says they are going to play a game. She is going to put something on each of their desks, and without looking they have to put it in their mouths and tell her what it is!

So the game begins. The teacher puts a cherry flavoured lifesaver on each desk and all the students put the object in their mouth. Suddenly Rachel puts her hand up and the teacher asks for her answer. "Well, its hard, round, has a hole in it and tastes like cherries. Its a cherry Lifesaver!!!" says Rachel. "Very good" says the teacher", now to round two!!"

The teacher puts out another round of lifesavers, this time lime flavoured. Quickly, Brian puts his hand up and the teacher calls on him. "Its round, hard, has a hole in it and tastes like limes... its a lime lifesaver!!". "Very good,"said the teacher "Now we are going to do a hard one!!!".

With the students eyes closed, the teacher hands out a round of honey flavoured lifesavers on to each desk. They pop them into their mouths and start thinking. They are sucking for a long time, but they cannot think of what they are. The teacher decides to give them a hint. "Ok kids, its something that your mom calls your dad when he gets home at night...does that help?".
After about two seconds lil Johnny shouts to everyone, "quick, spit them out, they're pieces of s**t a**holes!!!!"



After writing this i realized that since deeperblue has such a global following taht not everyone may know what lifesavers are. i can explain if they are unknown to anyone!!!
 
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