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October's Contest!!

Thread Status: Hello , There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.
the next ex Mrs. Sven poses for her centerfold spread in "Triple X Ab's"
 
<read at annoying informercial speed>
"And in only 5 minutes a day, you too can have great ab's like this...and if you act now we'll throw in this one of a kind, yellow lensed mask free of charge! This offer not available in stores so call now, operators are swimming by. Thats 1-800-aw-baloney"
 
rofl rofl rofl

Yeah but you need that guy with the pony tail doing the commercial.
 
Two Abalone walk into a bar....

One turns the the first cutey he sees and says:

"Hey Baby, take a gander at THESE abs! Yeah, right there through the mask. That bubbleblower was so small that.... well..... I ate him! and I'M LOVIN' IT!"
 
Man!!! I've never laughed so much :D You guys should all win!


At the beach one day:
"Mommy Mommy the rocks are talking to me!!! "Nonsense Junior, go find Uncle Sven, it's getting late."


Adrian
 
From the Miss Manners Files....

...giving new meaning to the phrase 'Putting one's Foot-In-Mouth'














Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935)
"We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of superstitious fears which were implanted in his imagination, no matter how utterly his reason may reject them."
 
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"...just shut up and hold this over your face,
the game warden will never know the difference!"
 
  • Like
Reactions: tuomo
the really hardcore divers dont waste time with salaiva when it comes to keeping their masks fog-free. :martial

abby passed the retreival exam at obedience training :hmm
 
"Now this never happened to Jim Carrey when he played the Mask":D
 
for you commercial buffs out there with a memory that spans the 80's...the original Oscar Mayer commercial...
"My abalogna has a first name; it's S-V-E-N-S.
My abologna has a second name; its D-A M-A-N.
Cause Sven Da'Man has a way
with A-B-O-L-O-G-N-A"

That was terriblerofl
 
sinus problems

Hi i'm new to diving. Perhaps someone out there can help me..

Sometimes after surfacing from a 30m dive i get this greenish stuff
in my mask.. and can someone tell me why i get this pain in my ears when i go below 3m ? .. What does equalising your mask mean..
Sorry if these are dumb questions.

Thanks

A. b. A- Lone.
 
breath - ups

I find that i get the best holds if i drink beer and bicarb and hyperventilate agressively for 20 minutes. My pb record is 12' 06" ...
 
Please release me .. let me go..
For i dont love you anymore..
release me and let me love .. again..
 
Originally posted by Skindiver
Please release me .. let me go..
For i dont love you anymore..
release me and let me love .. again..


This man really needs some help here!
 
Okay, since we started singing:
"pulled due to content"- Sven.

and

"If I could only grow a beard..."
 
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