Things that make you go AArrr Sh_t

[drunkinbda]

Somehow that strikes me about as sensible as trying to research lions from a bicycle!

just make sure its a ten-speed at least!!!

damn miles..thats really a REAL great white creeping up on that kayak??? omg...not that it helps all that much of sharky gets hungry..but at least the water is clear and he can see the damn thing wherever it is...yikes

 

[sinkweight]

..but at least the water is clear and he can see the damn thing wherever it is...yikes

...Unlike Drunky, when he's "practicing wet static" under the bubbles in the ladies hot tub.

Scientists still aren't sure whether a woman should stay still, tell her boyfriend, or lure Drunky away with an expensive bottle of Spiced Rum. They do, however, suggest taking all safety precautions possible:

Avoid murky waters where Drunky has been known to be attracted to women (hot tubs, dunking booths, high-dollar mud spas, etc.).


Wearing chain mail, or carbon-graphite bikinis with padlocked straps.


Before going on vacation, try avoid shaving your legs, and other bodily grooming. Your hairy legs may very well turn Drunky away, confusing you for an college-activist-chick drunken one-night-stand from a couple years back.


Do not spill any alcoholic beverages, including light beers or malted beverages, into the water. Drunky has special sensors in his nose, called Ampullae of Liquorenzi, which can detect minute amounts of alcohol in water from many yards away.


Keep personal belongings out of and away from the water. After all-nighters, EMT's have found unbelievable objects within the digestive track of Drunky while pumping his stomach on many occasions, such as license plates, Oprah's Books of the Month, unopened cans of E-Z Cheeze, marine propellors, lit cigars, Star Trek Commemorative Collectors Plates, and various sizes and colors of toothbrushes.


Swim or bathe during morning hours, while drunky hasn't yet awaken to the unfamiliar surroundings of an estranged motel room.

 

[Pastor]

A few more that might be considered to warrant F*#%$£g up your day. Except for the second to last one, maybe a candidate for swimming behind that yak rofl

 

[Pastor]

Oh God! Try this and this , now they could put a crimp on your day

 

[vivien]

A few more that might be considered to warrant F*#%$£g up your day. Except for the second to last one, maybe a candidate for swimming behind that yak rofl

roflroflrofl
hahaha. nice ones!

 

[LOLO]

The tough guy who says he can do anything! and all hell breaks loose on the dive!! when you realize he is full of S%@T.

 

[sinkweight]

The tough guy who says he can do anything! and all hell breaks loose on the dive!! when you realize he is full of S%@T.

It happens on many more dives than you'd care to think.

 

[LOLO]

very funny!!!
another... Just before you jump in, you see your "Guide" lighting up a dubie and saying to the group, "you are gonna see some crazy ass S**T."
This happened on one of the Micronesia Islands.

 

[crusty]

On the other side of the Coin
When you are a instructor or D/M and you have Certified Punters that.

Cant figure out why their leg wont fit in the wetsuit sleeve

Put tanks in BCS up side down

Cant put 1st stages onto tank

Ask what the contents gauge is for

Ask what the computer is for

Did their training dives 10 years ago and havnt dived since, but still want to go to 35 meters.

Go fishing with a baited three gang hook on a meter long line at 10 meters (while a school of 4 foot Barracooda get ready to mince them)

Skull a litre of chock milk before the dive then turn the entire dive site brown when they barf it back up at 8 meters.

Try patting a Morey eel

Fall in love with their instructor as he bravely fends of a 8 foot tawney nurse sharks
( little do they know they have no teeth)

Eat Bait= a Mullie ( sardine) that was given to them to feed fish with

Get sea sick and Ralf into the wind covering the 10 people standing behind them in Carrots

Pay for the service of their Reg with Doobies

The list could go on and on

All of these i have had people do


Crusty