Understanding waxlips

[trux]

Probably every resident DB member got at first irritated by the repetitive posts of waxlips, and his digging out of many years old threads. Myself, I suspected a spammer or a troll at first too, but after a while, and after reading one of his posts I understood.

I posted this comment in another thread, but I doubt that many people saw it, so I repost it here - finally in this subforum people often discuss diverse forum policy violations. Although it is not the case at waxlips, I think it is the right place here.

My original post from the other thread:

Don't worry about waxlips. He is all right, and has no bad intentions. In one post he revealed about himself that he is an autist, and the behaviour 100% matches the definition, so I believe him. I suspected a troll, or a spammer at the beginning. But the autism explains the behaviour much better. Autism does not mean any retardation, or perversity. Neurons at autists simply work differently.

Autists are characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. So do not expect that waxlips will react on your questions. He will possibly go through the entire archive, tag and comment every single thread, and also create many new similar threads. He does not do it to annoy us. It is the way it works, and in some ways it can be also useful - for example he is doing perfect job for adding tags to all old threads. And if you read his posts carefully, there is some message and also some poetry hidden in it too, and I think it can enrich us if we stop being irritated by the repetitive posts.

You will understand better if you look at Wikipedia (or if you watch the movie Rainman)
Autism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Don Paul]

Thank you Trux for your insight.

Cheers, Don

 

[Bill McIntyre]

Just last night I finished an excellent novel about an 18-year-old kid with Apsperger’s who was accused of murder. Since Apsberger's is just a higher level autism, this helps me understand.

 

[nostres]

Thanks for clarifying that Trux, now I feel good for being patient and not jumping on him.

If You're so good with people maybe You can create another thread and explain how to understand Lil dragonfly as well?

 

[Don Paul]

Thanks for clarifying that Trux, now I feel good for being patient and not jumping on him.

If You're so good with people maybe You can create another thread and explain how to understand Lil dragonfly as well?

LD posted she has left the building earlier.

Cheers, Don Paul

 

[Erik]

Good call if so. He also stated he's on probation. I wonder what happened.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[trux]

BTW, self-injury is another common characteristics of autism. So the Waxlips' obsession with contractions and suffocation fit well with it too. I have no personal experience with communicating with autists, and am not sure to which extent he is aware that such love-relation with the pain is not quite healthy, because it may increase the risk of an accident. Many descriptions of his techniques seem to be rather scarry. I am not sure what would be the best way to explain the risks he is unnecessarily increasing with his approach.

 

[Fondueset]

My son is autistic.
It is a subject on which I could hold forth at some length.

On a completely different note - there are some people, who for reasons perhaps neurological and/or psychological - have what I regard as unusual responses to apnea. Strictly speaking it is not necessarily self-destructive in any intentional sense - but more rather a seeking after intense pleasure.

 

[podge]

Ok then with the autistic question outstanding I’ve now deleted my original reply to one of Waxlips posts along with all other posts of support that came after.
I’m a lot of things but a complete Bast**d I’m not.

Would it please be possible for all that read this thread and read the replies that Waxlips posts to threads to try and steer him in the right direction. IE away from possible self harm etc etc.

 

[Salehthefish]

Thnx Trux for bringing this subject... Never knew about it

 

[devondave]

I'm sat typing this with a S.A.D. light shinning in my eyes to try and ward off the winter blues, (the cat loves it too.)
So I'm not going to make someone who has problems life even more difficult.
OK, lets see what we can do for him, first and foremost I suppose we have to tolerate him and explain to members who complain just what the situation is.

Podge is quite right, if we can't show compassion to someone like waxlips then what does that make us?
Apart from the annoying posts some people seem to like seeing the old threads resurrected.
I'm for a softly-softly approach for now and see how it pans out.

Thanks Trux, we all need reminding of our humanity sometimes.

 

[Erik]

I have an autistic stepson. If this is waxlips' case, then gentle redirection is appropriate. He can't just run rampant; there's no reason attempts can't be made to try and control himself.
Cheers,
Erik

 

[Fondueset]

There is a pretty broad range of understanding on this site in general - due to all the second language speakers etc.

Autism is not an easy thing to understand or generalize. We can, for example, say autistic individuals are not good with social cues or empathy - but my son is empathic to the point of it being almost overwhelming.

Recently my daughter attended an autism clinic. The 'expert' who was speaking made the moronic statement that the reason some autistic kids would sit in class and stare the the fluorescent lights was because they 'needed the stimulation'. More likely they stared at the lights the way you might stare at someone standing next to you and screaming. They could not sustain the priority of their attention against such an ennervating sensory onslaught.

One model I've thought of is that Autistic-spectrum individuals apprehend experience in 'blocks' or 'chunks'. Like swallowing food whole - it makes experience very difficult to 'digest'. My son has never exhibited self-harming behavior - but he did, for many years, try to harm us. This was very calculated behavior expressing frustration because he did not get an adequate explaination of something - or did not get what he wanted. The line between 'brat behavior' and frustration was very blurry. How to deal with it boiled down to self-protection and complete abstention from negative emotional responses.

The upshot is that an autistic-spectrum individual may express him or her self in a blocky sort of way - if you think of communication as digital - then theirs is clumped in ways that makes it harder for the mind to see it as analog, and prioritized without the interpersonl affect we are accustomed to. The amount of work such a person must put into thought and communication is incredible.

IF waxlips is in fact an autistic-spectrum person then it is appropriate to cut him/her some slack for seeming blunt. (just as we do for any number of 'normal' people on this site!) But I agree with Erik - stepping up and communicating is just that - even though this is the internet - waxlips can be invited to refine his/her style and meet us halfway.

I'll also add that - if this is true - waxlips seems to be very high functioning. As to the wisdom of such a person engaging in apnea/freediving - my concern would be with the prioritization of attention and the possibility of overriding sensory inputs to the point of blackout.

I have some experience with working with someone who has severe ADD and freedives and establishing safety protocols has been acutely challenging.

Worth noting also is the fact that anybody can represent themselves any way they want on the Internet.

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

I know I said that I was finished with this place, but after seeing this thread, I figured I would chime in just this once.

(Here's to hoping that expecting respectful replies is not overly optimistic of me. Up until now most of the people here have been less than nice to me.)

I have Asperger Syndrome.

I am intensely logical, to the point of having no common sense.

I find the complexities of social situations to be quite baffling. (Many of the replies to my posts have caused me to sit and scratch my head.)

When trying to determine whether or not a certain topic of discussion will be socially acceptable in any given situation, I assume that, like me, other people base their reactions solely on logic. I frequently forget that most people are illogical creatures and will behave as such.

On an Asperger’s forum I started a thread on inadvertently bungling things on message boards. It generated a huge response: numerous others spoke up about their experiences with being labeled “trolls” as well. Asking questions that everyone insisted had “common sense” answers, assuming that it would be ok to post something because of what someone else posted and was well respected for, bluntly stating opinions that were different from everyone else’s, innocent comments leading to accusations and judgment…one poster brought up a good point: “People always put their own slant on the posts they read. They don't know your point of view, and can't see it. If what you innocently write upsets their precious beliefs, you are labelled "troll"…1. Talking about (anything unusual) is a bad idea; 2. Any post that can be twisted to offend someone, will be.”

In all of the replies the story was the same: Aspie goes on NT board, the NTs do not understand and are confused therefore they judge, the person gets labeled a troll, either they are banned or everyone’s inability to be friendly drives them away.

When interacting with others I have the social sophistication of a moose. I will readily admit to that. But you suffer from a far worse affliction: the tendency to judge others. If I could be born again I'd choose my unfavorable gene expression over yours any day.

P.S. If you all met waxlips face-to-face, you would probably discover that he is an extremely nice person! Try to be warm and friendly towards him.

 

[Fondueset]

Lil D - Hi.

That explains a lot. Your statement regarding logic needs a caveat - it is YOUR logic. It is precisely this gap between the speaker and the audience that characterizes asperger's where communication is concerned.

Your logic seems like THE logic to you. But there are a host of givens to which others are not privy. Likewise there are a host of givens to which you are not privy - all the more so because of asperger's.

Another characteristic of asperger's is a lack of self-consciousness - which explains some of the things you've said which most people would be unwilling to talk about with strangers.

I've read quite a few of your posts - and I think we talked a little about your lung issues awhile ago. I like you and I think your presence on this board is a good thing. I hope you will stay - even if people do get irritated with you sometimes - and you with them.

I think you generally do very well communicating.

Everybody else - looks like it would be worth your while to do a little googling in order to set yourself in good stead for dealing with the asperger's contingent here on DB

I don't pretend to be an expert - but I have been 'round the block a few times.

Also - theres a great movie Temple Grandin (TV 2010) - IMDb about Temple Grandin - a woman with autism - which is different from aspergers but also similar in many ways. Unlike many films on the subject - she actually helped with it and has endorsed it.

 

[nostres]

[I am intensely logical[/FONT][/COLOR]

[/FONT][/COLOR]

About Your logic:
-You can't afford toilet paper (Your words)
-You want to be snorkeling instructor

Opportunity comes and forum member offers You a job, $100+/day job on dive charter boat. Thanks to Your logic You refuse it because there is chance of inhaling Diesel fumes...


Now let me just ask about Your autism announcement - why now?
On Your long list of health issues You never mentioned that before (and You did mention a lot of them)
Additionally You do it after officially leaving DB, which I knew You'll be back

Are You sure You're not trying to use the attention waxlips is getting at the moment? Because if You are, that's not cool even for a troll

 

[Lil Dragonfly]

About Your logic:
-You can't afford toilet paper (Your words)
-You want to be snorkeling instructor

Opportunity comes and forum member offers You a job, $100+/day job on dive charter boat. Thanks to Your logic You refuse it because there is chance of inhaling Diesel fumes...


Now let me just ask about Your autism announcement - why now?
On Your long list of health issues You never mentioned that before (and You did mention a lot of them)
Additionally You do it after officially leaving DB, which I knew You'll be back

Are You sure You're not trying to use the attention waxlips is getting at the moment? Because if You are, that's not cool even for a troll

And...

I had a feeling that expecting people to respond nicely even in this so-called compassionate thread was too much.

I am off to look at kittens. Neurotypical ********, go find someone else to be nasty to.

 

[nostres]

I am only nasty to my wife when she asks me to be, never been nasty to You

I only asked You one question, of course - no answer. Things nobody's asking for, that's whole new story...

Have fun with kittens

 

[Don Paul]

Oh look a puppy...

Cheers, Don Paul

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[Stephan Whelan]

Folks - i'm disappointed that this thread has taken this turn. We have two members who have admitted to complex and difficult to understand conditions. Responses from DB members have always been polite and well thought out - let's not change that behaviour now.