January 2003 Caption Contest!!!

[bdurrett]

A Poem to Start the Year Off Right

OK, here we go!

The Wetsuit is stinky and the fins reek like trash!
Sven guesses it's time to give them a bath!

"Dettol's too costly!" says Sven, "We're getting robbed!
So, it's time to call on my buddy SpongeBob!"

A good blob of Bob goes into the tub, next suit and fins,
and then a rubba-dub-dub!

The foam, it all glistens. The fins, they both gleam.
Sven looks in the mirror and wipes off the steam.

Sven hangs the gear up to dry over night,
gets a whiff of Bubblebath and turns pale in fright!

"Oh NO!" thinks Sven, "I really do wish,
that the smell of SpongeBob doesn't scare off the fish!"

But he still doesn't know about all the ribbing this will cost him,
when all his dive buddies find Sven now smells like a baby's bottom!

:rofl

Bret (Hey, I am an engineer, NOT a poet!)

 

[Griff]

The only thing for Daffy's Frostbite was a good hot soaking

 

[icarus pacific]

BD surges ahead!

Genius, Bret!!
But always better to smell like a baby's bottom than a horse's arse, no?


sven

 

[porky]

The firemen thought they were called out to deal with the usual toe in the tap scenario. They hadn't brought the equipment for plug hole removal.

 

[porky]

Sven decided to investigate when someone suggested that he was one pube short of a plughole!!!

 

[DiverD]

If the Finns fit...

 

[jkivi]

Sven was the jealous type. He thought the fins were alone... Little did he know his mask and snorkel were holding their breath under the bubbles til he left.

 

[bdurrett]

Re: BD surges ahead!

Originally posted by icarus pacific
Genius, Bret!!
But always better to smell like a baby's bottom than a horse's arse, no?


sven

Absolutely.... or like a wetsuit that has been "internally warmed":yack (how's that for a "clean euphemism?" )

Either way though, the fish are outta there :hmm

Bret

 

[Klaas Feenstra]

"Sven! You didn't used that 'summon-a-seagod' soap, did you?"

For the connaiseur; the picture inserted is that of the Old God Cthulhu. For more information, I would refer you to the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

Klaas Feenstra

 

[bdurrett]

Rub a dub dub, take a look at that bug!

Originally posted by Klaas Feenstra
"Sven! You didn't used that 'summon-a-seagod' soap, did you?"

For the connaiseur; the picture inserted is that of the Old God Cthulhu. For more information, I would refer you to the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

Klaas Feenstra

Oh MY! That is one UGLY bug back there! Sven didn't know that using Spongebob would turn him into Bug Bait!

Bret

 

[cjborgert]

Rescue Techniques

Recovery from SWB (Shallow Water Brownout)

ps: see August Contest

 

[cjborgert]

Freedivers' Lament

Ahh Shit . . . looks like the Bubble Blowers got here before we did.

 

[cjborgert]

Sven Honey,

Are you sure this rash is from my wetsuit? All this soap is making it burn.

 

[cjborgert]

Wetsuit Lube

Was I was supposed to use shampoo or conditioner to get this thing on?

 

[rigdvr]

Sven's secret to staying so damn smooth

 

[efattah]

1. Now, we've all heard of divers frothing from the mouth after a blackout, but this is excessive!

2. Bob was attempting a world record attempt in static apnea. He thought the bubbles would hide his trademark samba.

3. Joey's failed attempt to breathe polyfluorocarbon resin.

4. All those bubbles give a new meaning to 'diving on air.'

5. An ingenious way to hide the cyanosis from his wife...

6. In an attempt to extend his apnea times, Jerry resorted to swallowing air into his belly. The experiment backfired as the contractions pushed the air out of his backside, in a froth of bubbles.



Eric Fattah
BC, Canada

 

[oopsla]

Honey?! I told you Uncle Ben was diving in our well!

 

[loopy]

Much to the amusement of the broader DB community, Sven was one of the few people who actually believed about the futuristic city that lay just beyond the plug hole.

 

[loopy]

Items that should be banned from a honeymoon #361: Freediving fins.

 

[Sharky]

"Sven darling, I don't think the head and shoulders is going to help with your fin fungus"