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Jokes Thread!!!
- Thread startermiles
- Start date
Thread Status: Hello
, There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.
Well I guess I ought to put a hand in this one...
A husband and a wife were home alone while there daughter and her boyfriend were out. The husband was eating peanuts in a rather odd sort of fashion tossing them up and trying to catch them in his mouth. Just as he tossed one up his wife called his name and he turned his head really quick. The peanut lodged itself deep in his ear. So he dug in there with his pinky but all it did was push the peanut a little deeper. So he told his wife what had happened and she suggested that her fingers were smaller so she better have a go at getting it out but to there misfortune it just pushed the peanut a little deeper. Just then the daughter and her boyfriend came walking in. "I think we are going to have to take your father in to the emergency room, he seems to have a peanut lodged in his ear." stated the mother. The boyfriend quickly suggested that he had an idea. "Sit down and tilt your head back, Sir." So the father did. The boy then stuck his fingers up the fathers nose and said close your mouth and blow. As the father did this out popped the peanut and off walked the boy and the daughter. The mother commented, "Gee, he really is smart I wonder what he will amount to in the next few year." Father chuckled and said "well by the smell of his fingers your son-in-law."
A husband and a wife were home alone while there daughter and her boyfriend were out. The husband was eating peanuts in a rather odd sort of fashion tossing them up and trying to catch them in his mouth. Just as he tossed one up his wife called his name and he turned his head really quick. The peanut lodged itself deep in his ear. So he dug in there with his pinky but all it did was push the peanut a little deeper. So he told his wife what had happened and she suggested that her fingers were smaller so she better have a go at getting it out but to there misfortune it just pushed the peanut a little deeper. Just then the daughter and her boyfriend came walking in. "I think we are going to have to take your father in to the emergency room, he seems to have a peanut lodged in his ear." stated the mother. The boyfriend quickly suggested that he had an idea. "Sit down and tilt your head back, Sir." So the father did. The boy then stuck his fingers up the fathers nose and said close your mouth and blow. As the father did this out popped the peanut and off walked the boy and the daughter. The mother commented, "Gee, he really is smart I wonder what he will amount to in the next few year." Father chuckled and said "well by the smell of his fingers your son-in-law."
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man…and then my dog bit me."
"So . . . I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!....
But hell... enough about me... how are you doing?”
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man…and then my dog bit me."
"So . . . I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!....
But hell... enough about me... how are you doing?”
O
omega3
Guest
GERMAN JOKES
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it is far more efficient in both time and money to change it yourself. Failing that, ask a relative or neighbour to change it for you.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says, "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says, "I just got back from a funeral"
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
"Would you like an ice pack?"
Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?
He was weird.
A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
A man walks into a whorehouse and pays a prostitute for sex. He contracts an STD and passes it onto his pregnant wife. Their child is born deformed and has a difficult life.
When asked if he could see the humour in the situation, the child replied, "No. No, I don't."
A man called a lawyer and asked, "How much will you charge me to answer three questions?"
The lawyer said "$400."
"Wow," said the man. "Isn't that a lot?"
"I guess so," said the lawyer. "When are you going to ask your questions?"
How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.'
The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, 'Sorry, I can't do it.'
The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the room, and walks out. 'Sorry, I can't.' he says.
The last man enters the office and the interviewer said yet again explains the test.' The man says "I'm sorry I love my wife too much to do such a harmful thing, I guess the FBI is not for me after all."
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Satan takes the form of Jesus and appears to three priests saying that if they do something evil, he'll let them drink of the holy water.
The three priests discuss the offer and come to the conclusion that Satan must be tricking them into committing sin. When confronted with this accusation, Satan reveals his dastardly plot and salutes the priests on their cunning and steadfast faith.
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was blind and deaf.
Otto and Beata give birth to a young child.
This is impossible, because a baby cannot be born as a young child, therefore the previous sentence is rendered void and should be corrected. I apologise on behalf of myself, and myself only, for this major yet forgiveable mistake.
The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
Where did Hitler keep his armies?
The brunt of his forces were applied to the Eastern front, but throughout different periods of the war, a sizable chunk were used to protect the Atlantic Wall and a handful of divisions were used in Africa, to secure shipping routes.
A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'".
The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it is far more efficient in both time and money to change it yourself. Failing that, ask a relative or neighbour to change it for you.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
So, there were an Irishman, an Englishman and an American wrecked on an island. One day, they found a bottle, and when they opened it, a ghost came out and offered them each a wish. However, even though they wished for different stuff, nothing happened, as the three guys of varying nationalities were just having shared hallucinations from hunger.
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor's office wearing a suit. The doctor says, "Why are you wearing a suit?" The black man says, "I just got back from a funeral"
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
"Would you like an ice pack?"
Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work?
He was weird.
A Blonde and a Brunette jump off a tall building at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
Both of them hit the ground at the same time. Hair colour doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
A man walks into a whorehouse and pays a prostitute for sex. He contracts an STD and passes it onto his pregnant wife. Their child is born deformed and has a difficult life.
When asked if he could see the humour in the situation, the child replied, "No. No, I don't."
A man called a lawyer and asked, "How much will you charge me to answer three questions?"
The lawyer said "$400."
"Wow," said the man. "Isn't that a lot?"
"I guess so," said the lawyer. "When are you going to ask your questions?"
How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.'
The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, 'Sorry, I can't do it.'
The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the room, and walks out. 'Sorry, I can't.' he says.
The last man enters the office and the interviewer said yet again explains the test.' The man says "I'm sorry I love my wife too much to do such a harmful thing, I guess the FBI is not for me after all."
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Satan takes the form of Jesus and appears to three priests saying that if they do something evil, he'll let them drink of the holy water.
The three priests discuss the offer and come to the conclusion that Satan must be tricking them into committing sin. When confronted with this accusation, Satan reveals his dastardly plot and salutes the priests on their cunning and steadfast faith.
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was blind and deaf.
Otto and Beata give birth to a young child.
This is impossible, because a baby cannot be born as a young child, therefore the previous sentence is rendered void and should be corrected. I apologise on behalf of myself, and myself only, for this major yet forgiveable mistake.
The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, what'll ya have, Pope? But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?
No.
Well, it's really nice.
Where did Hitler keep his armies?
The brunt of his forces were applied to the Eastern front, but throughout different periods of the war, a sizable chunk were used to protect the Atlantic Wall and a handful of divisions were used in Africa, to secure shipping routes.
A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'".
The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.
O
omega3
Guest
There was Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon and little Baby Balloon.
Every night Baby Balloon would sleep snugly between Mummy and
Daddy Balloon until, one night, Daddy Balloon said to Baby Balloon...
"Now son, we want to be proud of you, you're growing up and
it's about time you slept all night in your own bed...will you do that
for us?"
Baby Balloon sniffled and cried a little but agreed and so Daddy Balloon
took Baby Balloon to his little bed and tucked him up for the night...
Once again Daddy Balloon said...
"Both Mummy Ballon and I want to be proud of you...so please stay
in your own bed until morning"
Daddy Balloon goes back to bed...but just one hour later...Baby Balloon
climbs out of his bed and tries to squeeze into Mummy and Daddy
Balloon's bed...but, try as he might, he can't get in...so he takes
Daddy Balloon's nozzle and let's some air out...but he still can't
squeeze in...so he goes around to Mummy Balloon's side of the bed,
takes her nozzle and let's some of her air out...he STILL can't quite
squeeze in...SO...Baby Balloon takes his own nozzle and lets some
of his own air out...and...AT LAST he manages to squeeze in and
nestle down between Mummy and Daddy Balloon
When they all wake up in the morning...Daddy Balloon sees
Baby Balloon and becomes rather angry...he says...
"Look Baby Balloon...I asked you to stay in your OWN bed all night
so we could be proud of you and here you are back in OUR bed!!"
Baby Balloon says "Sorry Daddy"
then Daddy Balloon says..."It's just NOT good enough son...
...You've let ME down
....You've let your MOTHER down
...but MOST of all...you've let YOURSELF down"
Every night Baby Balloon would sleep snugly between Mummy and
Daddy Balloon until, one night, Daddy Balloon said to Baby Balloon...
"Now son, we want to be proud of you, you're growing up and
it's about time you slept all night in your own bed...will you do that
for us?"
Baby Balloon sniffled and cried a little but agreed and so Daddy Balloon
took Baby Balloon to his little bed and tucked him up for the night...
Once again Daddy Balloon said...
"Both Mummy Ballon and I want to be proud of you...so please stay
in your own bed until morning"
Daddy Balloon goes back to bed...but just one hour later...Baby Balloon
climbs out of his bed and tries to squeeze into Mummy and Daddy
Balloon's bed...but, try as he might, he can't get in...so he takes
Daddy Balloon's nozzle and let's some air out...but he still can't
squeeze in...so he goes around to Mummy Balloon's side of the bed,
takes her nozzle and let's some of her air out...he STILL can't quite
squeeze in...SO...Baby Balloon takes his own nozzle and lets some
of his own air out...and...AT LAST he manages to squeeze in and
nestle down between Mummy and Daddy Balloon
When they all wake up in the morning...Daddy Balloon sees
Baby Balloon and becomes rather angry...he says...
"Look Baby Balloon...I asked you to stay in your OWN bed all night
so we could be proud of you and here you are back in OUR bed!!"
Baby Balloon says "Sorry Daddy"
then Daddy Balloon says..."It's just NOT good enough son...
...You've let ME down
....You've let your MOTHER down
...but MOST of all...you've let YOURSELF down"
Old lady calls up the newspaper subscription office: "After 43 yerars I'm cancelling my subscription!" The astounded clerk asked her why. She replied "Every Sunday for 43 years you've placed my Sunday Paper on my porch--you missed today so I'm getting rid of you!"
The clerk assured her "Ma'am, we WILL get your Sunday Paper on the porch--tomorrow, TODAY is Saturday."
"Well!" says the biddy, "That might explain why I was the only one at church today!?!"
The clerk assured her "Ma'am, we WILL get your Sunday Paper on the porch--tomorrow, TODAY is Saturday."
"Well!" says the biddy, "That might explain why I was the only one at church today!?!"
Fellow goes out in the back yard one day. He hears a "chunk...chunk...chunk" coming from the neighbors yard. Peering over the high privacy fence he sees the cute neighbor girl digging a hole with a rather large shovel. "Hello sweetheart," says the neighbor; "What are you doing there?" She looks at him with doleful eyes and replies, "Digging a grave for my little goldfish." "Oh" says the man; "That's an awefully large hole for a little goldfish!" Now she glares at him and spits "Not when he's inside your dead CAT!"
A little old lady is coming to the end of her days and called the family, her minister and her attorney around the bedside. She explains she has a sizable estate and she has been generous to all in her will. She does have some last wishes and one is to have some personal effects placed in her casket. However should anyone refuse or fail to fulfill her wishes they will be excluded from the proceeds of the will. The folks all say their last goodbyes and exit to the hall outside the room.
A lively discussion ensues about the morality and ethics of placing items in her casket. Her minister and the attorney both side with the soon to be departed. Of course they were beneficiaries as well. The greedy nephew reminds everyone about the exclusion clause.
Soon the dear old lady departs to meet her maker. Following the funeral the family gathered for last remembrances. All agreed that following her final wishes and placing personal effects in her casket was the right thing to do. Then the greedy nephew chimed in "I don't know about all of you...but a million bucks wasn't enough to keep that cat inside the box while we got the lid shut!"
A lively discussion ensues about the morality and ethics of placing items in her casket. Her minister and the attorney both side with the soon to be departed. Of course they were beneficiaries as well. The greedy nephew reminds everyone about the exclusion clause.
Soon the dear old lady departs to meet her maker. Following the funeral the family gathered for last remembrances. All agreed that following her final wishes and placing personal effects in her casket was the right thing to do. Then the greedy nephew chimed in "I don't know about all of you...but a million bucks wasn't enough to keep that cat inside the box while we got the lid shut!"
Young man grows into middle age as a confirmed batchelor. He has few interests except hunting and collecting firearms. One day his buddy says to him "You're not too old yet...why don't you quit buying guns, spend some money on the girls and find a wife to spend the rest of your days with?" Lone Eagle looks him in the eye, "For two reasons. One: guns take up less room in the closet, and two...you can buy a silncer for a gun."
Husband is sitting at the kitchen table all morning perusing a document. wife finally confronts him "Just WHAT ARE YOU DOING????" "Nothing dear" he replys. "You have been siting there staring at that piece of paper for hours--you are up to something." she accuses. He sighs, "Oh this...it's our marraige license and I'm still tring to fnd the expiration date." Ta dum tum.
Subject: Fw: Flight from Glasgow || Airplane Food - True Story (must be true,
it's on the internet)
Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening
flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew
nervously made the following painful announcement..: "Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up one
minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how
this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately,
only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologise for this mistake and
inconvenience."
When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. ,
"Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can
eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour
flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would
like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
it's on the internet)
Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening
flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew
nervously made the following painful announcement..: "Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up one
minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how
this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately,
only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologise for this mistake and
inconvenience."
When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. ,
"Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can
eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour
flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would
like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
An engineer dies and goes to hell. He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satellite dish and now they get hundreds of high def channels, although they still cannot watch Breaking Bad on AMC.
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are You going to get a lawyer?"
One day, God decides to look down on Hell to see how his grand design is working out and notices that everyone is happy and enjoying umbrella drinks. He asks the Devil what's up?
The Devil says, "Things are great down here since you sent us an engineer."
"What?" says God. "An engineer? I didn't send you one of those. That must have been a mistake. Send him upstairs immediately."
The Devil responds, "No way. We want to keep our engineer. We like him."
God demands, "If you don't send him to me immediately, I'll sue!"
The Devil laughs. "Where are You going to get a lawyer?"
