A whole bunch of them, take your pick.
1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
3. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.
4. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.
5. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!
6. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.
7. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in wintertime he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
8. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
9. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
10. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
11. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
12. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
13. If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
14. Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.
15. If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.
16. Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario.
17. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination.
18. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else’s?
19. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
20. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
ole bunch of stuff, take your pick