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Jokes Thread!!!
- Thread startermiles
- Start date
Thread Status: Hello
, There was no answer in this thread for more than 60 days.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.
It can take a long time to get an up-to-date response or contact with relevant users.
Everybody said my watch-repair business is bound to fail.
Well the joke's on them. I've just been given a huge winding up order.
Well the joke's on them. I've just been given a huge winding up order.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzQ8hY1iNAk&feature=player_detailpage]Raw Video: North Koreans Mourn for Kim Jong Il - YouTube[/ame]
he'd been Il for some time apparently. and now his Korea is over. i thank you :girlie
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again? :blackeye
There is no salvation--bear with it. They eventually grow up--enjoy now.
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again? :blackeye
There is no salvation--bear with it. They eventually grow up--enjoy now.
There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband... for example...
A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom.
Did you say hello?
A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling", he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom.
Did you say hello?
# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks
#What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks
# What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain
# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."
# So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.
# The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.
# What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?
Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.
#What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks
# What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain
# When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."
# So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.
# The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.
# What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?
Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.
A man phones an Airfix model shop and says "Have you got a model of an Italian cruise liner?"
"Yes", replies the owner.
"That's great" says the man "Can you put it to one side for me?"
"Yes", replies the owner.
"That's great" says the man "Can you put it to one side for me?"
Some People Say There Is NO Difference Between COMPLETE & FINISHED But There Is.
When You Marry The Right LADY, You Are COMPLETE.
And When You Marry The Wrong LADY, You Are FINISHED.
AND When The Right LADY Catches You With The Wrong LADY, You Are
COMPLETELY FINISHED
When You Marry The Right LADY, You Are COMPLETE.
And When You Marry The Wrong LADY, You Are FINISHED.
AND When The Right LADY Catches You With The Wrong LADY, You Are
COMPLETELY FINISHED
The flight attendant listened patiently to a man’s complaints: “You bring me cold coffee. You serve me lousy food. I can’t see the movie. Not that it matters because you didn’t bring me any headphones. And my window doesn’t even have a shade, so I can’t sleep.”
When he finally paused for breath, she said, “Just shut up and fly the damn plane!”
When he finally paused for breath, she said, “Just shut up and fly the damn plane!”